Bpd experience anyone?

[2little2late2change4now]

I've recently been diagnosed with bpd. I'm seeing a private therapist and having dbt and cbt and there's a possibility of hypnosis to reach my younger self when things are calmer. My therapist says things are going well and is positive that I am changing the behaviours and that I will beat this.
Some days I feel positive and others I feel hopeless, this condition has plagued my life for as long as I can remember, I wish I'd got help sooner but I never really wanted it and have run away a lot,
It isn't helped at the moment by the fact that I'm pregnant and have a toddler and my partner has left unable to cope after years of trying to convince me to get help and has now been with someone else although he's unsure if he'll ever come back.
I just wondered if anyone had stories of turning their lives around and how they felt?

Anyone?

nope. I got my diagnosis a few months ago and have been entirely abandoned by a mental health system with no money to treat me. and I'm on benefits so no private therapy for me.

I hope things go well for you.

I'm so sorry to hear this. Why have the mental health system abandoned you?

Hi, I got my diagnosis of bpd in 2009 after a hospital admission for trying to kill myself in my car. Until then I had been told I was just depressed, given pills and told to get on with it. Once someone finally listened to me, and realised it was bpd, I started psychotherapy.

I was also put on an antipsychotic medication as well as an anti depressant. This helped me see things more clearly, but did make me feel a bit drugged up.

At the time I was completely out of control. I had been abusing drugs for years in an attempt to cope with my feelings. I was sabotaging all my relationships as I was 100% sure they didn't care about me. I was paranoid, took everything personally and was hell to be around to the people who actually loved me.

Aquaintences adored me as I was the crazy party girl, always going to the extremes to have a good time, to actually feel something good. I would sleep with anyone just to feel like they liked me for a while. if they had sex with me it must mean I was worth something right?

Psychotherapy was hell. It hurt and made me want to run away. I didn't really give it my all until I unexpectedly fell pregnant with dd. I was fucking terrified. I had to come off of all my meds. I was certain I would be an appalling mother. I was scared all the terrible things that had happened to me would happen to my baby. I came so close to getting an abortion, but worked and worked with my therapist until I came to terms with it. we worked on all my issues at the same Time.

I turned A corner and started to get better and better. I went from hating the baby inside me to feeling protective of her, but still scared.

Then dd was born and it all clicked into place. I loved her with a burning passion, a ferocity that completely shocked me. It wasn't easy but all the work I had done over the previous months paid off and I have become a completely different person.

I have a normal life. I don't think I meet the criteria for bpd anymore. I am not swinging from one crisis to another. I am happy and am a good mum. I still have down days sometimes, but I think that is completely normal. I don't take drugs, I don't drink, I'm not on any meds, I'm just normal.

I'm studying to get the qualifications that I messed up in college when my bpd started to rear it's ugly head. I have good relationships with family and friends.

There is hope, embrace the therapy and give it everything you've got even when you want to run away. It's fucking hard work and can be so frightening, but it's worth it.

Ex-wife, still sending you all my love, the system is so unbelievably unfair.

Sorry just to clarify I was in therapy for two years, but I feel the time that actually helped me was when I was pregnant with dd.

Thank you so much for a positive story.
I've never been involved with drugs but I think I could see my personality doing that if the circumstances had occurred. I have done some extremely reckless things with total abandon and no thought for the consequences. Told a lot of lies, run away from the problem a lot and hurt a lot of people.
Getting help is great and the therapy is very effective but I struggle to live with what I've done over the years now that I look back with more clarity. I'm still waiting to get into the nhs mh system.
I hope that dp can believe that I can change and that this isn't forever and there is hope to be a family again. I'm pregnant with dc2

I was discharged from the CMHT with the BPD diagnosis on my file. however, nobody saw fit to tell me. I'm already diagnosed with depression and anxiety and have been hospitalised twice.

I found out my extra diagnosis by accident when I went to see the link worker at my gp surgery. I have had 3 referrals back to the CMHT but they refuse to assess me again.

the problem for me is that the diagnosis has kicked up a lot of horrible childhood stuff. I'm an alcoholic but 10 months sober - I don't feel that much better mentally but physically I'm not dying any more.

it's just a battle I don't have the strength to fight. so I stay on my meds and try not to fall apart.

Therapy will help. I found I could let go of the guilt and associated feelings once I had stopped making the same fucking mistakes. You can't change the past, but therapy can help you change your future And work through the pain of all the crap that's happened to you and you have done.

There isn't a single person out there with bpd who hasn't fucked up majorly.

One thing though, and you probably won't listen because I wouldn't have but... You need to forget about your husband right now. The therapy process isn't going to be pretty, you aren't suddenly going to become perfect. It takes time and it's messy. You would be better to reassess the relationship once you have been through the therapy and come out the other side. Just work on being parents who are civil for the children for now. Don't sleep with him to try and hold on to him, don't manipulate him to make him stick around. Just have a neutral relationship while you work on yourself.