I am convinced that my Dad has some fairly serious, undiagnosed MH issues.
For as long as I can remember he has had "episodes" at least once a year, sometimes more.
These take the form of him becoming obsessed with the belief that my mum had an affair with someone before they were married, some 40 years ago. DM flatly denies this and I tend to believe her, though to my mind it is so long ago it is really not relevant.
So he starts getting obsessed with this, and he can't let it go like a dog with a bone. His behaviour deteriorates and gets really bad. Examples would be him setting up a fake e-mail and contacting my mother pretending to be a random admirer and trying to "honeytrap" her, turning up at her work shouting and screaming or accusing her of being on dating sites on the internet. If you knew my mother, you would know this is ridiculous.
He gets really paranoid and he will call me dozens of times a day, barely coherent and going on and on about this supposed affair 40 years ago. He rambles, screams, cries - the works.
He has tried to kill himself on a number of occassions although I don't think at anytime he has fully intended to do so. Typical "cry for help" stuff. He has "tried" to gas himself in his car but phoned a friend to tell him what he was doing and has often gone to trains stations to "throw himself under a train" but hasn't gone through with it.
This has been going on for years and it is getting worse.
He has tried counselling, but if they don't believe his delusions he leaves. If they do, he uses it as a weapon with my DM.
He's been prescribed anti-d's in the past but will not take them.
Once, after months and months of pushing and fighting I got him an appointment with a MH professional - a psychiatrist. He spent 30 minutes before we went in ranting about how clever he was and they wouldn't catch him out and lock him up. Then he just lied in the appointment and said there were no issues.
I am at my wits end. He won't accept he has a problem, won't talk to any HCP honestly, won't take medication if he is given it. The police have been involved a few times but treat it as a domestic. Both he and my DM have been violent to each other on occasion. There have been many, many things smashed up on both sides, he spits at her, she has hit him - it's horrible.
My Mum is a nightmare too in her own way. She blatantly dislikes him (which I can sort of get) but does nothing about it. Won't leave, just doesn't speak to him for weeks on end. Total stonewalling which exacerbates things. She just shuts herself in a room or ingnores him.
I get the brunt of it. Constant calls through the day and night whenever this is kicking off, which it does, without fail once to several times a year.
I love my dad but I can't take this anymore and I want him to get help. But he lies to doctors, refuses to seek help and won't take any medication.
Does anyone have any advice?