can people tell me about anxiety

[mouses]

ive a usual on this thread but not been here a while.

background; suffered with mental health since childhood and has got worse after dcs and the older i got. been diagnosed with so many labels which change with every psychiatrist i see

my last letter said its mixed personality disorder with schizoid and borderline traits? but my counsellor is adamant i have anxiety!!! im not convinced.

ive stopped taking sertraline cos it hasn't change a thing - i know you have to let work etc etc but was taking it long enough to 'work'

have been an emotional mess for so many years, i cant keep my mood stable, its one extreme to the other, i spend like im a millionaire! cant hold a conversation with people, my head goes funny sometimes where i don't even now how im feeling, what to feel and that i have no control over it.
i get agitated, irritated, im a mum to 3 poor dcs who have to put up with my mood swings. i cant cope with them emotionally most days - other days i just block out/fight back all thoughts of giving them up! sad i know. its not their fault.

i can go out but only where i know where i am and only for so long if i need something. but while im out i feel vulnerable, not safe, exposed?? i look at people and wonder why life exist, whats the joy of it?
i know i have anxieties of some kind, i fear my 4yr old dd is going get ill and die i panic some nights that someone is going to come into my home, other times i feel uneasy for no reason?

my counsellor just keeps banging on about i have anxiety, doesn't mention working on any of the other stuff the psych writes down...
i see her weekly and next week will be bringing info on anxiety but im fed up with hearing that word. ive asked to help stop the thoughts i get and the answer is... its anxiety!

don't get me as being ungrateful, im grateful of her time. we actually talk about animals (i have a problem buying and rehoming animals) we talk about my home, i make things, decorate like mad... talk about eastenders ... maybe shes getting to know me before the magic works????.....

My therapist also says that my problems are because of anxiety... Maybe it is so, who knows. During the therapy I haven't felt depressed or high, so probably I am anxious. I feel anxious, that's true, but not all my past experiences can't be because of anxiety. Maybe we have same therapist?

haha would be a small world if so!
i feel the same, not all my actions can be due to anxiety surely? when im spending ridiculous money for example, but she says i do that that distract myself, makes me feel happy etc..
when i say i cant concentrate when im sitting at home and feel my mind wonders, its because im anxious? OF WHAT!!!! im at home this is my giant comfort blanket...

maybe it is like you say...

My therapist says that my visual hallucinations are also because of anxiety.

My anxiety takes the form of thinking my children/husband might die. When it's bad I am terrified of losing them. I can't concentrate. Am angry and short tempered and tearful. My head whirls with worries. I fixate on odd things like moving a bookcase because o can control that. I spend money.

My counsellor gave me this site which has information about anxiety.

www.getselfhelp.co.uk

My Citalopram has helped and so has my counsellor. I would t rule anxiety out but it might not be the only factor. I have it coupled with depression.

omg i was just about to type same thing but my mind went blank and didn't know what i was suppose to write lol
yes, i told her that it was after i cut my head open from fainting when i was 11yrs old - that was when i started seeing dead people (yes dead people!) and when i felt weird and not normal. cant remember a thing before the head injury.
BUT its because im anxious cos my mum wouldn't talk to me about fearing i will faint again - which i did a lot as a child.
i used to wake up during the night with my body shaking uncontrollably for no reason, anxiety.

"i can go out but only where i know where i am and only for so long if i need something. but while im out i feel vulnerable, not safe, exposed?? "

That's agoraphobia

Agoraphobia is more about being scared of losing control than being scared of being outside. What it is is that you've lost control, or thought you might, in more and more places until you retreat further and further into your comfort zone because you're associating the places with the feelings. You're talking about your head going funny, not being able to hold conversations, agitation, irritation. These are all things that are caused by anxiety and that cause anxiety

The spending money could be a distraction from anxiety. It's also common in bipolar. The lack of concentration is 100% an anxiety thing

When I found out most of my problems can be traced to one thing I didn't like it because it was a big and complex problem and it kind of insulted me that it can have one tiny cause because how can one simple thing ruin my life like this? But that's what anxiety's like

I think she is trying to get to know you at first btw, to make sure you're comfortable with her so you will be able to work together well

I had agoraphobia when my anxiety was at its worst. Like Rina said I couldn't believe it was causing all my problems.

no im not ruling anxiety out i know i have anxieties but its the only thing i hear. my first diagnosis 4yrs ago was depression with anxiety.
its just that im pleading with my counsellor to help with my spending, animal hoarding, decorating ocd... these effect me more then mind problems because i i don't have money, my dcs get left out while im redecorating for 2nd time in a year! its like my head rules me.
when i was hearing voices that was anxieties too!!

thanks for link will take a look

yes rinabean i do feel abit insulted that im am all these 'wrong' things because of tiny anxiety. maybe i don't know how badly anxiety can effect some one?

rinabean i went for a walk last week before the school holidays and 10mins into my walk i felt like i needed to turn and run home, i thought my head was going to explode, heart racing, was looking for places to hide away. i had tears in my eyes, i couldn't handle the cars going past, people looked like aliens! not green but... don't know hard to explain.

but i did it, i got to the d.i.y store but just felt dumb struck - couldn't think what i was in there for..

mrsminton i have that cbt sheet, have actually printed it out somewhere but then got lost in extreme exercise (one of my many phases) and forgot all about it. you just reminded me i got it

Glad to help

There is a section in the book The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook that is helping me. If you can't buy it you may be able to find a pdf. Otherwise message me and I'll type the relevant parts up for you tomorrow. It's about making a list that will help you towards a goal, step by step. You want to experience some anxiety so you feel yourself beating the fear. But you don't want it to get so high you panic, you don't want to reinforce the phobia. When you have a bad experience like that walk it can increase your fear over all because it's like "I tried walking to the diy shop and it was terrifying". So the idea is to make it all nice and easy so you are experiencing more and more things without panicking, to widen up what agoraphobia has limited. I am too tired to explain it right so if you can't get hold of the text I can try again tomorrow.

Anxiety is hell!! But we can beat it

ahh i hate it when my health makes me cry!
i know i have anxieties, just cant see how its all put down to that though.
im scared of life really. used to be free spirit when i was younger, sitting in lifts and waiting for it to move now im terrified of them, wont go on escalators, cant go to weddings, parties ... well any social gathering. too many people, id feel lost, id have to talk to people etc. i missed a friends wedding back in dec who i hadn't seen in yrs - but night before her wedding i had bad panic attacks and was up all night crying. she no longer talks to me
i know ive had problems since childhood but at least back then i had some fun. now im more or less a recluse, i do go out im not as bad as some i know, but when i get back im exhausted from trying to keep sane whilst out and about.
im off to bed but will pick up tomorrow.