Feel like sh*te

[Carbonel]

Went shopping yesterday for 2 hours with dh then 2 hours with mother and today I have felt absolutey cr*p, with no energy to do anything. Been in tears hating myself and this 'illness'; I am letting everyone down, just want to wake up and it's all been a dream. How can doing so little have such a profound effect!? I suppose the only good thing is I don't have the energy to do anything about it!

Do you mean you went shopping for a total of 4 hours yesterday? Not really surprised you have no energy but then depression saps our energy doesn't it - having shite day here too - alternated between lying under duvet, crying, lying on sofa - feel marginally better as I often improve in the evening but not a great deal today. Do you feel better at different times of the day? You aren't letting everyone down though I know only too well that this is what depression does to us - it's just another cruel twist in this fucking awful illness, which I don't think we feel when we are physically ill.

Sending you warm wishes x

Thanks. Bit more of an even keel today and had a good chat with nurse from Crisis team who comes out almost daily atm. Still feel like a limp lettuce leaf but easier to handle as not supposed to be somewhere else today like I was yesterday but couldn't.