Need help getting unstuck :-(

[Newbiecrafter]

Hello

Not sure if I can explain this, but I feel stuck.

I can sit for hours watching inane tv during the day and can't quite get myself up to do chores/exercise/eating or anything. I genuinely feel stuck.

I was on anti depressants for about 3 years due to anxiety and depression. Was referred for counselling which helped me see where I maybe get my mental state from but I still feel like I am stuck.

When i was on ad's I felt numb and like a zombie. No emotions, just numbness. I eventually decided to come off them and am glad I did. It's taken a good long while to get myself onto an even keel where I don't cry at everything, but I'm not sure if I'm ever going to just be able to get on with things.

I can even sit and just look out of the window, not really thinking anything other than why don't I get up and do something. I actually do t know if I am just bone idle or if this is part of the being depressed state.

So, if you have experienced this, are there any tips or suggestions of how I can get myself out of this state of feeling stuck?

I feel like I am wasting hours of my life doing this. My dc are at school during the day and I manage to do what I have to for them, but am at a loss when it comes to looking after myself.

I do have 'fun' with my kids but sometimes feel I need a break from my own head.

Does anyone else feel like this? Am I just lazy? If anyone feels like this, what do you to do actually, properly relax?

Many thanks in advance.

Yes, I do know what you mean. I used to find that the stuck state would eventually break, but then I'd be likely to go into overdrive and burn out. The only way the house ever got anything like properly cleaned was when a parental visit loomed!

The thing that does help me is to go for a walk. Although in a stuck state I find it hard to get myself to actually go for one .

Don't rule out medication either - your stuckness could be a symptom of depression (although I always felt that frustration at my stuckness was one of the causes of my own depression). It can take time to find the right med, and one that makes you feel numb is definitely not the one.

Thanks Thesilvery. Apologies for bit replying sooner. I actually had typed a reply and assumed I hit post message but maybe I didn't.

I hadn't realised that other ad's might be better than the citalopram that I had been prescribed. I mentioned on a few occasions the numb feelings and the gp just sort of suggested that was normal.

Re cleaning, I am the same and can motivate myself if I have to. I actually washed all our bedding and dusted yesterday which are two jobs I loathe so can occasionally muster the energy.

The thing I struggle with is the inability to get moving and to do stuff for myself. For example, exercise or cooking. I drop my kids off to school and then can't really think of what else to do until I have to leave to pick them up again.

As I write this I feel really ridiculous that I can't just get on with things. I really need to lose weight. I started the low carb boot camp in jan and managed it for 6 weeks but started to get really bad painful heartburn and leg cramps so started eating carbs again and can't stop. The cramp and heartburn have stopped thankfully. The weight I slowly lost over 6 weeks is back on in 2 and I find myself feeling even more stuck. I started of so determined and made myself do the bootcamp, but it's exhausting fighting my inner desire to sabotage myself. Iykwim?

I can sit here all day thinking what can I do, what do I need to do and it's just like blankness in my head. I need to exercise but just can't get going.

I realise I sound ridiculous and some people might say if I really wanted to I would do whatever it is I want to do, but I do t even know what I want to do.

Thanks for replying and for sharing your experience.

I'm still a bit stuck myself Must take my own advice and go for a walk. One way that sometimes works is to set mobile timer for 5 min, then go out and just walk till timer goes off. Then return. Voila, a 10 min walk!

I spent a long time not knowing what I wanted. I think you just have to try some things, how else will you know?

I too am trying to lose some weight, am calorie counting, it's early days so I don't know if it's working yet. Also I must confess I am dealing with stuckness by returning to bed for a couple of hours during the day - which means I need to eat even less to lose weight My kids are grown, I'm divorced and retired, it's just me and the cat. When they were little I did a lot of reading during the day, which was better than doing absolutely f all I suppose.

I've got some writing to do which I keep staring at and not doing. Probably I'll go into writing mode some time soon - I hope!

I too feel "stuck" at the moment. Like i can't shake the terrible feeling that im falling into depression again (though somedays i wonder if i was ever really out of it). I dont know whats started it....i feel anxious and scared and like i just want to switch myself off. Im not saying i'd rather be dead but i too get the 'just kill yourself' thoughts or daydream into how i could accidentally die. I dont know how to tell people..told my dp im feeling anxious but not sure if i should go gps or if that will start down a murky path.
Sorry for going on....feel like i keep needing to say sorry all time!
This might be cathartic writing but thanks in advance.

I get this. So glad im not alone. I feel like I'm paralysed sometimes as I too can just sit and I procrastinate doing anything. Its really awful and impacts me at work. I've been working on it and have come up with a healthy eating plan and exercise. The eating plan forces me to go into the kitchen to prepare it and once I'm there I find it's easier to do other things as I have broken the "paralysis". I've done this for a week now and not only do I feel very healthy but the house actually looks organised for once.

One thing I do that often works is to assemble what I am going to need for a particular task.

Then I can wait till I get an urge to do the task, and it's all ready to go.

I know all the advice is to "just do it" whether you're feeling like it or not, but at my most stuck I can issue the instructions to my muscles to go and get started, and a sort of physical weakness comes over me! This sounds like an excuse, except there appears to be a thing called leaden paralysis which sometimes accompanies depression.

Since starting the calorie counting (which is working so far), I've found similar re food prep. I can also get a lot done when listening to The Archers in the kitchen.

Hello again. I'm so sorry to hear that there are more of us experiencing this.

Easy, I know what you mean. I also wouldn't do anything but do sometimes feel like I'm slowly topping myself by constant eating crap and often wonder what's the point and also that no one would really care if I wasn't here. Like I said, I have no desire to be dead or to harm myself, but equally I'm not able to actually live my life. I also wonder if I'm still depressed.

The hobbit, sorry to hear you also feel like this. But you are working and that's amazing. I sometimes wonder if giving up work once I had kids was maybe not the best for my mental health. I've always been how I am but at least when I worked, I did a bit more in the day than I do now.

Silvery, I sometimes, when I can get myself to just do it, put music on and I do enjoy listening to stuff. It's the actual just do it that I find is the message I tell myself, but my body doesn't listen.

Big hugs to you all. Xxx

This does sound like part of the depression.
It may be unhelpful for you but I have a week planner. It is a big desk pad. One sheet is one week. I put on essentials like kids' activities and what we are eating etc. I add household and other routine jobs then stick a few things on for me. It really helps.
When I started it a full day was shower and get dressed. Now I'm really filling the time and feeling better.

I always had the feeling that feeling stuck made me feel depressed, rather than the other way round. Certainly, getting unstuck would lift my mood for a while

(although cocklodging nowEX was actually main cause, so then him doing nothing would feed into me relapsing into doing nothing, and feeling stuck again)

Sorry, am packing for house-move (I got unstuck!) and therefore sifting old paperwork has put me in reminiscent mood.

Yes I get "stuck" too.....(hello Silvery - when's the house move?) I suffer with intermittent depression and on the bad days I stay under the duvet till early afternoon and then drag myself into the shower and downstairs and wait for the blackness to move away as it sometimes does later in the day. On good days I sort of amble about (not doing very much) but I'm 71 and retired so can please myself. I'm very unfit and after a really severe chest infection over Christmas (and in hospital for a week) I was laid low for about a month and mostly lay on the sofa, reading and dozing.

Since then my legs are shakey and achey (think through lack of exercise) - even a walk to the paper shop takes ages and I have to keep stopping. I've got a "running" machine at home and am trying to do 2 x15 mins a day on that (slow walking) but I find all sorts of reasons why I can't do it!

I don't know what to suggest really - I did read on here someone who was just looking at all the mess around her house said to just move and pick up one item and then another.....and then another and that helped. I think baby steps IS the way to go - like your 10 minute walk idea silvery - if I tell myself I only have to do 5 mins stretching, I can usually manage it. Bought a yoga book for Over 60's to try and get a bit more flexible but thus far I've only read it while lying in bed!!

I spend a lot of time sitting and colouring (adult colouring books from Amazon - very intricate patterns) and nice felt tips. It's very relaxing and is a good distraction when I'm feeling crap, but it's still just sitting......and I spend faaaaar too much time on here, and the internet in general.

Maybe newbie you just have to go with how you are feeling and not beat yourself up about it - you're managing to get the kids to school and generally looking after them and that's using energy. Are you a single parent?

Easyworld it does really sound like you are depressed and anxious and I think you should see your GP. Suicidal thoughts are a very common symptom of depression (suicide ideation - in the sense we think of it but sort of know we won't do it....) and saying sorry is another symptom I reckon, because MH issues makes us feel somehow responsible for how we are feeling and even ashamed and guilty and we don't feel like that with a physical illness. Just another load of crap the big D throws at us! Anxiety can often be the first symptom to show itself, so hope you can see a good GP sooner rather than later. Did you know approx. one third of all GP consultations are MH related.

Ah well enough of my rambling .........warm wishes to you all...