really bad health anxiety - anyone else?

[misspantomime]

I'll try not to write a massive essay here. Just wondered if anyone else suffers from health anxiety. I do sometimes feel anxious for no apparent reason and have heart palpitations etc (though I am thankfully not a panic attack sufferer - yet!) however my anxiety quite clearly revolves around health. I am a massive hypochondriac. I am only 25 years old and am to all intents and purposes perfectly healthy and yet not a week goes by where I don't get convinced I have a horrible disease, usually some form of cancer. It generally gets worse if I read about someone who has it. For example, I recently read the heartbreaking story of Kate Gross and then convinced myself I had colon cancer because I get constipated quite a lot (sorry for TMI). As soon as I got over that one I felt a sharp twinge in my breast and convinced myself I had breast cancer. I have swollen lymph nodes in my neck. They are tiny and not hard and I had them checked out 4 years ago by a doctor who said they were nothing to worry about but I still worry that maybe they are something bad and he just missed it. At the moment I am getting a lot of pain in my shoulders and upper back which I think is probably from the way I am sitting at work but when health anxiety takes over I think that it is lung cancer or breast cancer. I also worry excessively over the health of my loved ones, especially my mother.

Hypochondria is one of those terms that gets thrown around a lot and people get very frustrated with you and sometimes laugh at you. DP is very supportive and tries to be kind but he can't help that he doesn't understand how it feels. I don't feel that anyone does. All I get are people saying 'stop worrying, it's bound to be nothing, you should just enjoy the here and now' but that kind of advice isn't really helpful. It's not like I don't know it's completely illogical. Do they think I want to feel like this? Do they think I want to interpret every single ache or pain I have, no matter how minor, as indicative of the fact that I'm seriously ill? I have had CBT and it didn't help me at all. The only thing I find that helps at all is going for long walks.

I would like to speak to the doctor about this but I am afraid that if this is in my notes than no one will take any symptoms I ever have seriously.

I would really like to hear from other people with experience of hypochondria/health anxiety and how you deal with yours.

This is me! I think my health anxiety started after a traumatic birth experience. I've been to the doctor this week about physical symptoms and she was more concerned about anxiety. She prescribed some AD to try to get it under control. I do feel less anxious but also completely wiped out! No advice but could've written your post myself!

Me too. My health anxiety stemmed from me starting a job where I didn't get sick pay. Being without a day's pay would have hurt financially as we don't have much money spare hence the anxiety escalated. Not only does it affect me personally (so far this year I have convinced myself I have had colon cancer, oral cancer, skin cancer and now heart disease) but I pass my paranoia onto the kids and DH - so whenever DS2 says he's fallen or been tackled at football and is hurt, I immediately come to the conclusion of a broken body part. Part of me knows it is ridiculous and I can joke about it, but when I am on my own, not occupied, my mind tends to wander and I'm googling my symptoms..

Like you, I don't want to see my GP as I don't want it in my medical records. I'm having a go at taking Kalms to see if they help. I'm hoping there might even be a placebo effect. I have heard people say they take the edge off. I'm only two days into taking them so I have no success story yet.

I have health anxiety and its a bitch! As CBT didn't help you might want to look at mindfulness training - it is helpful and can help you to get some distance from the thoughts. Try Mark Williams and Danny Penman - Mindfulness for a good starting point. One thing I find helpful is to give the thoughts a name - so for instance when you feel the worry about the lymph nodes think as calmly as you are able "I'm having the Petunia thought again"- this isn't about mocking your thoughts - its giving yourself a little distance from them. When you get a new pain or sensation describe it to yourself as accurately as you can i.e "there is a pain in my right shoulder blade roughly half way down - on a pain scale about3 out of 10" describe it in as much detail as you possibly can. This will divert you from those "What if" thoughts - sometimes you'll realise the pain has gone before you start any "What ifs"
These things are not a cure but they will help calm you whilst you consider things like approaching your GP etc. Best wishes to you - I have been through all the things you describe and so have many others - you are not alone