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Original poster

Will the GP just roll their eyes?

50 replies

ourglass · 08/02/2015 15:20

Taken a lot to come out with this.

Have finally agreed with DH this morning that I need to see the GP about my mental health issues and bite the bullet.

A bit of backstory.. I have been very angry since the age of 11. I started self harming around that time and also had a bad relationship with my parents, a long with lots of disordered eating.

From the age of 15 I became very promiscuous and put myself in lots of unsafe situations, and at 17 I was raped horribly by a friend.

About a year after that I very nearly killed myself and was sectioned for a little while.

After coming out of the section I met my now DH and we have a couple of children.

The bottom line is, I am so low. Every day. Terrible self esteem issues, I would rather not go out. I binge drink and binge eat. I don't sleep well. I'm so angry. I have panic attacks, I fly into rages. I self harm, I cry every day and will often breakdown sobbing on my DH's shoulder. I regularly think about killing myself but wouldn't do that to my lovely DH or my children.

In my eyes I've been depressed since I was 11, so way over 10 years. I'm finally ready to confess all and tell the GP I need help. But I am worried that social services would be involved or the GP would think I am attention seeking. Please tell me they will give me something? Something really is wrong with my head.

Thank you for listening.

OP posts:
Bakeoffcakes · 09/02/2015 16:00

You probably will cry but the Dr will see that every single day.Smile

You're nearly there, you've got the appointment- just take a big breath and go and do it.

Original poster
ourglass · 09/02/2015 16:11

Ok. I'm going to do it. I'm leaving at 4.30.

I've got my notes written down. Shall I read it out or try and wing it? I want to make sure I get everything out but I'm worried if I'm reading from a sheet they won't believe me as much. If that makes sense.

OP posts:
WestEast · 09/02/2015 16:15

They would still believe you if you told them whilst stood on your head. But take it with you, cos then it's to hand and if you need it you have it there and can pass it over. Let us know how you go on won't you

Original poster
ourglass · 09/02/2015 17:22

I did it. I'm just on my way home and I will fill you in. I feel so much better.

OP posts:
PenguinPoser · 09/02/2015 17:23

So pleased you went and that you feel better!

WestEast · 09/02/2015 17:26

I'm really pleased you went. Massive hurdle hurdled!

Nolim · 09/02/2015 17:37

SmileBiscuit

BlueKarou · 09/02/2015 18:02

Well done; ourglass - sounds like you've taken a really hard first step today in going to the GP. You've been very strong.

I hope it went well with the GP and that you're now feeling a bit better prepared for whatever your next step is.

Original poster
ourglass · 09/02/2015 19:25

Thank you all so much. I got back a while ago but was just talking with DH and putting kids to bed.

I literally walked in and just started to sob. Sobbed into her hands pretty much. I wrote down what I needed to say and showed it to her. She was absolutely lovely and understanding. She said I am obviously terribly depressed and have massive anxiety problems and it's all consuming my life and holding me back.

She's prescribed me 50mg of sertraline and that I will beed intensive therapy as soon as I can get it. I will probably pay privately as there may be a long wait.
I have a driving test tomorrow so will start taking the tablet after that. I have to go back and see her on Friday. I've got 7 tablets, will she give me more on Friday? What can I expect on sertraline if anyone has any experience?
I'm absolutely exhausted from getting that out but I'm glad. I needed to do this. Thank you all for giving me that final push - I appreciate it x

OP posts:
Bakeoffcakes · 09/02/2015 19:54

Oh well done ourglass, you should be really proud of yourselfSmile

It sounds like your Dr is lovely and yes she will give you more tablets on Friday. At the beginning of taking them the Dr likes to check how you're getting on with the tablets, so she will see you every week then every two weeks, then once a month etc. I had a lovely Dr too and I found it fantastic to go and see her every so often and have a little chat.

I've no experience of sertraline, as I was on Citrolapram, so hopefully someone else will come along.

Good luck tomorrow with your test!

showtunesgirl · 09/02/2015 20:04

OP, I applaud you.

It's bloody hard saying how you feel. I've just started therapy and it took a long time before I could tell anyone.

WestEast · 09/02/2015 20:06

Well done :)
My doctor did what bakeoff said, regular check ups, see how you're getting along.
In taking fluoxetine which is in the same family of drugs, they gave me headaches for the first week but that was it. Oh and they seemed to keep me awake at night if I took them before bed so I take them in the morning.
Good luck for tomorrow :)

PenguinPoser · 09/02/2015 20:13

Well done so pleased it went well. Sertraline is a good medication. Important thing about any meds are they don't work overnight. So if you're not feeling better in the next couple of weeks don't worry. They will give you another prescription and they should start working in the next few weeks. Brew and Cake for you, you deserve it after today!

Original poster
ourglass · 09/02/2015 20:53

Thank you all so much. Had a nice bath and now I'm in bed. Will let you know how the test goes tomorrow. Night Flowers

OP posts:
Original poster
ourglass · 10/02/2015 14:01

I passed!

Just took my first tablet. Will let you know how things go.

OP posts:
WestEast · 10/02/2015 16:55

Ah that's fab :) well done!

turqouisesea · 10/02/2015 17:04

Well done! Both on going to the GP and passing your test. You've done really well. I've walked down to the doctors crying my eyes out in the past so I know how you felt. Give the tablets time to do their work and be kind to yourself.

Original poster
ourglass · 10/02/2015 18:04

Thank you both so much. After an hour or so I felt nauseous but it seems to have calmed down now. I can't believe I passed my test, it's given me a bit of relief at least!

OP posts:
Bakeoffcakes · 10/02/2015 21:12

Oh that's brilliant news! Well done.

turqouisesea · 10/02/2015 23:59

You may get a few side effects from the tablets to start with but they should wear off as you get used to them. Just let the doctor know when you see them. Hope you had a relaxing evening after your stressful day! So great that you passed your test when you were feeling so roughSmile

Bakeoffcakes · 11/02/2015 08:18

I agree with turquoise, you will get some side effects, but they usually only last a short while until your body gets used to the tablets.

I felt "spaced out" for a few days, but I found it rather nice.

Bakeoffcakes · 11/02/2015 08:19

Sorry meant to add, just try to take it easy for a while and be good to yourself.

Original poster
ourglass · 11/02/2015 08:26

Thank you both. Didn't sleep great, nauseous on and off but I agree - spaced out feeling quite nice? Better than crying isn't it!

Just taken one this morning, the morning may suit me better. I will just have to grind through it for the next couple of weeks, glad to know everyone has to go through this Thanks

OP posts:
Bakeoffcake · 16/02/2015 08:23

Hope you don't mind me asking our-how are you getting on?

Original poster
ourglass · 16/02/2015 09:13

Hi Bake,

I still feel the same to be honest. They obviously take a while to kick in which I was expecting. Had a spectacular drunken row with DH last night and said some really awful things. Drinking is my trigger for breakdowns, I don't know why I do it to myself. Feel utterly shit today that I've hurt my DH's feelings ..... Again

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