I'm in a dilemma and wondered if any good ladies could help me.
I suffer from anxiety and agoraphobia (mild now) but I have been doing all I can to help myself through meditation, self compassion and trying to change my thoughts and programming from a traumatic time.
I have trained as a teacher, and in theory I can teach Psychology.
Out of the blue on Friday, a secondary school rang me to say that they would like to know how I teach because I haven't had much experience. But they want me to teach tomorrow 27 kids of ages 13-14 on a topic I know little about. I have been trying to prepare for this but it is all very last minute and I am anxious about it.
The job is full time and teaching younger kids that I have not been trained to teach (my pgce is post 16) though I would be teaching A level too.
My gut instinct says this is all too much for me. Just the building would play havoc with my agoraphobia.
Yet here I am trying to do it. I like to teach but I don't know if this is just too much for me. Just want to fit in with society and do something with my life.
And I just can't concentrate on even what to teach tomorrow! I'm anxious and tired and I realise that just the preparation involved with being a new teacher would be extremely time consuming. I am trying not to be negative but need to be realistic too. I have only said I would do it because there just such few opportunities these days and I feel I would be letting myself down for not just trying...(and even my partner).
But just the thought of tomorrow and trying to teach all those kids is kind of freaking me out, not knowing where I'd be in the building as well...everything.
I am very isolated too and always stuck at home and this adds to my sadness and feeling trapped by myself.
I was able to see the positives in this situation but now it is getting closer, not so much anymore.
And I feel depressed that I feel like this too :-(
Please help.