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Original poster

Taking yourself off meds

22 replies

creamhearts · 05/02/2015 20:11

I am on anti-psychotics and anti-depressants but haven't taken them for weeks. Last time I stopped taking them I got sectioned. I don't feel unwell at all, I am not hearing voices or feeling like I should die. I feel a bit down and tearful at times but otherwise ok, no psychosis. If I could I would SI but I can't for various reasons and I am managing that fine. I am working and seeing friends and functioning really well.

I am due to be discharged from the CMHT in February. Nobody knows I have stopped taking my meds, even my DH thinks I am taking them.

I don't know what to do. I am scared to tell them I have stopped them but I don't think I need them really.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 05/02/2015 20:29

youve done really well. Maybe the time was right to come off?

Keep an eye on your feelings, and especially the SI ones. Did you still have SI urges when on the medcation?
xx

Malef1cent · 05/02/2015 20:49

Sounds good that your mood hasn't dipped. I have been thinking of coming off meds, too. The only thing keeping me taking meds is my children. I don't want to become unwell and that affecting them. I am doing ok apart from anxiety.

Original poster
creamhearts · 10/02/2015 17:44

After posting this I have started to wonder about things in a different way, and I wonder if it is my destiny not to take the medication. I sometimes feel like this when I become psychotic but in general I feel so well. I am starting a new job soon and I am worried about it but that is normal I think. My DH asked me if I was taking my meds and I lied. I would speak to my CPN but there is really no point any more because she is off sick anyway and then I am being discharged and I have learned in MH services that once they decide you are well and fine nothing changes that and really I do feel very well. Just little tiny things are making me wonder and tbh they are sick of me dicking around with my meds so they won't do anything to support me taking or not taking them.

OP posts:
Malef1cent · 11/02/2015 11:53

Actually once I stopped medication. I had been okish for couple of years. I stopped medication cold turkey and continued feeling fine for several years. At the moment I am not even okish, so I wont stop them even though I am intrigued by the idea.

reyn38 · 11/02/2015 16:26

your meds are there for a reason, they are meant to make you feel better but only if you keep taking them do you stay better

ButtercupChin · 11/02/2015 16:31

I'm sorry to barge in on the MH boards but this has popped up in my active conversations.

I think it's quite worrying that you've stopped your meds and haven't told anyone and are in fact starting to talk about things in a way that reminds you of previous psychotic episodes.

Please tell your DH at least, that you're off your meds - I wonder why he asked you? Is he maybe seeing something in you that you're not?

Original poster
creamhearts · 11/02/2015 17:10

It is just a tiny seed of a thought which is ok I think. I am not suicidal or anything.

I wish I could SI but I can't.

I can't tell anyone.

OP posts:
rinabean · 11/02/2015 17:16

They're there to look after you, I know they can be a pain sometimes but they have no right to make you feel like you need to manage your meds yourself. Is your DH supportive? Mine will ring up mine every day to get me looked after if he needs to (and he often needs to). If they're sick of you that is their fucking problem, this is their job and you deserve care. Being suicidal isn't the only problem, but I'm glad you're not. What help have you got with your SI?

Original poster
creamhearts · 11/02/2015 17:19

My DH is lovely but he cannot know I have stopped them.

The CMHT won't care.

I just finished DBT and I start new counselling soon. I haven't SIed in months, I won't SI, I just want to.

OP posts:
Phoenixfrights · 11/02/2015 23:32

You yourself are having doubts. Can you speak to an impartial organisation like Mind? I think it's really important to speak to someone who 'gets it' in real life.

For me when I've come off my meds it hasn't been a sudden transition to illness again but a gradual slide (am unipolar BTW).

I'm concerned here that you sense you don't feel quite right. Your own insight is a powerful thing.

D'you think you could see/ talk to someone tomorrow?

Is it possible that you stopped the meds to 'prove' to yourself you were ready for your Feb discharge? These arbitrary dates can feel like unwelcome targets sometimes.

Original poster
creamhearts · 11/02/2015 23:48

Just Rang crisis fir advice they said need to restart meds asap or else could end up sectioned again. Think is unlikely. Feel very different today need to speak to someone who knows me.

OP posts:
Phoenixfrights · 11/02/2015 23:53

Is that the CMH team crisis line thing?

Good you called them even if you don't trust their opinion. Is there anyone medical you do rate? If so maybe best to seek them out.

Did you just stop the meds without a taper? This has been a very bad move for me in the past and I would never ever advise it.

Hope you are alright. MH stuff really, massively sucks. But then all the interesting people have MH issues :D

Original poster
creamhearts · 12/02/2015 00:02

Just stopped them. Nobody i trust really will ring cmht and speak to someone tomorrow maybe!

OP posts:
Original poster
creamhearts · 12/02/2015 16:42

I feel quite strange. Hmm.

Like I am fine to go to work. Been out today. Just feel strange. But they will just say take your meds you stupid girl.

OP posts:
Phoenixfrights · 12/02/2015 20:32

Strange how? Can you describe it? Is it like any feeling youve had before?

Original poster
creamhearts · 12/02/2015 21:11

Just a bit distant, duno. Just wondering about things in a different way, like I understand now why I shouldn't take meds. Feel very alone :( SI plans etc. Feel unwell I think.

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Original poster
creamhearts · 13/02/2015 16:47

To update. I spoke to my CPN today who says I am unwell and wants me to start meds again. Seeing her Tuesday.

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Phoenixfrights · 13/02/2015 17:24

Oh bugger. I'm sure that is not what you wanted to hear but you did absolutely the right thing calling her. Are you going to restart the meds before tuesday ?

You know what? I reckon I'm going to be on drugs for the rest of my life. I used to think this was a terrible prospect. But you know what? I've concluded there are worse things and frankly my life on antid's is so much better than without I really don't careany more.

For you drugs might be a temporary stop gap. Rapid withdrawal can precipitate symptoms that mirror the ones you had pre-treatment. The way you are feeling might abtually be withdrawal. Either way please listen to your CPN. They don't know you like you know yourself but they will have seen 100s of patients with similar.

Malef1cent · 13/02/2015 17:44

I got psychotic when quetapine was stopped abruptly in hospital. I got delusions and had most horrific hallucinations ever. I haven't had so strong hallucinations before quetapine.

Original poster
creamhearts · 13/02/2015 18:54

I should take them.

I don't want to.

I am not unwell.

Hate myself.

SIed last night.

OP posts:
Malef1cent · 14/02/2015 11:17

Have you talked in your therapy why you don't want to take meds?

Original poster
creamhearts · 14/02/2015 15:46

Yes, they just say i need them. Useless.

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