Sooo I'm back on anti-depressants...

[ALittleFaith]

Just wanted to put this out there really. Only told DH so far. I've got a history of depression and anxiety, taken them about 6 times before. I know they work, I know I'll feel better (and I'm not as low as I was the first time I took them 12 years ago) so why do I feel like I've failed? I feel like I'll never be free from it. It's always lurking, whenever things get tough. I don't know if I have more crap to deal with than some or if I just don't handle it as well as some people.
I can access my local counselling service because I've been before so I'll do that tomorrow. I had anxiety management techniques before and that really helped. I'd love some words of encouragement please :)

If you had cancer, would you refuse chemotherapy? Because depression is an illness too and thank goodness, we live in an age with effective treatments.
Recognising that you were on a down ward spiral and getting treatment before you went down too far is only a good thing!

You're right. I guess sometimes because it's a mind thing I hope I can control it without meds. However it's the meds that will help me take control. Thanks.

Hello faith
Probably what you are feeling is a symptom of the depression. By accessing medication and counselling you are looking after yourself and taking steps towards your recovery. This is a good thing, you have not failed, quite the opposite. I do hope you feel better soon

Thank you hoochy. I told my sister today, we had a good chat and I've decided to view is as me taking control of the depression rather than it controlling me.

I'm doing a course through work about leadership, did the first session today. I actually think it'll really help me to increase my self-confidence.

Quick update: I'm still struggling with anxiety (tight chest, light headed) and some invasive thoughts but I've pushed myself to do some things I've been procrastinating over (little things like getting a new car park pass at work which seemed massive). Today I even managed to go for a run - I love running but for several weeks I couldn't find the motivation to go. Steps in the right direction I think.