DH has/is having a psychotic breakdown and just admitted IP

[bluedinopyjamas]

I feel like shit. Its been going on for weeks but have only just got him to open up and be honest. Paranoid thoughts and delusions, no real grip on reality, its been so heartbreaking. I havent even been with him in the hospital as the baby needs looking after. I feel like a shit wife and mother. I dont know what to expect, were in Germany if that makes any difference, i suppose it does. I dont know how to help or best support him. I feel like ive been trying everything and its hasnt been helpig at all.

Hello blue, I have not been through this how terribly difficult for you.

If you have been trying everything, as you say, then you are not a shit wife and mother. I would say it is good you husband is in a place where he is receiving help, help that you can't give. Sometimes to ask for help and support a process is enough. He would want you to be caring for your child - day to day he has care, day to day care for your baby. Let your husband know you are still there waiting and let him and the professionals lead you through is recovery. What he is capable of and need will change as he undergoes treatment. Ask if there is any help or support groups for families that you can go to.

Please try and go out with your baby too have time away from the house as you would normally by way of a break from it all. It's ok to have breaks from it all.

Do you have anyone there can act as a kind of advocate in your situation - is your German enough to understand the doctors etc.

Have you contacted other family members to share - can anyone come to you?

Do you have access to childcare for a couple of hours a time to give you a break and to make visits easier for you?

Ive tried to think as much as I can to help. Take time to take in what is happening, one small bit at a time, hour by hour. Dont think too far ahead.

I have been there, my dh had a breakdown with psychosis when my ds was 18mths old. It was the hardest most painful time of my life. I felt so alone and was desperate to speak to someone that understood, so please know that you're not alone.

This has not happened because of you, you are not a shit wife or mother.

Do you want to share what's happening?

Take care of yourself, it's easy to forget about your own needs .

Just to add if you google rethink.org you will find lots of good advice for partners and families for people suffering a mental illness, it's uk based but lots of good emotional and practical advice.