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im very concerned about my mum!......... its abit long!

9 replies

lipsbite · 18/10/2006 15:20

as found out last Friday that she is VERY depressed but kept it to herself. As my aunty had been ringing me to ask where my mum as she cannot get hold of her till she realised that she still had her old phone number, so aunty came down to see my mum and said that she is worried (and also the whole family) that she might be depressed which mum burst out crying and said she is.....this is the first time i know and now it all made sense, as she was living here for 8 mths which was so bloody hard, me and dp nearly split up 3 times as the stress that mum was causing us cos she doesnt listen which i was constantly repeating it to her.... i might as well talk to the wall and see if that answered back!!

anyway...mum said that she had been depressed since she got divorced from my Dad 12/13 yrs ago - after 24 yrs marriage, and then she was madly in luv with an ex till she found out that he doesnt want to divorce his wife but he was seperated, then mums twin committed sucide 3 yrs ago - it was VERY sudden! (mum had no counselling at all and doesnt talk about her twin AT ALL), mum was VERY close to her twin. My aunty bought my mum out of the wedding business (she didnt made any profit on it and wasted 14 yrs of business hoping it would boom!) 2 yrs ago before she moved to France to do up a barn with a different ex and lived there for couple of month, which means she sold her house here, it didnt work out in france as their relationship wasnt solid enough and mum stop loving him but she lost a hell lost of money - couple of thousands as the barn is unfinished and it had been robbed so poss it was her ex but no proof.

She said that she had been feeling VERY lonely since her twin had died and is all paraniod cos she thinks that her family doesnt want her anymore as a new girl who took over my mums business at the wedding shop reminded everyone of my mums twin but poss that mum cant handle that.

Told mum that she need to sign herself off work (she last worked 3 weeks ago), go on sick for couple of months and sort herself out and also give my mum a break on looking for the rent money.

Mum now been seeing a man for the past 6 mths. She is happy but hes got alot of probs with his ex over their 3.5 yrs old DD and mum said that its not really helping her depression.

Monday just gone and i asked if she is going on sick but mum said "No, as i want a job that im happy in and ill be alright" but she hadnt been alright for years - but gone worse for the past 2 yrs since she came home from France

What do i do without pushing her too far?

OP posts:
Pitchounette · 18/10/2006 15:46

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lipsbite · 18/10/2006 15:56

well thats what my aunty had said that she need to go to a breavement counselling but mum hadnt been to her docs at all. She had said last friday that she doesnt want to take ADs tabs, but best if she go counselling. She is the only one in her whole family that is not accepting her twin's death - its a shame!

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lipsbite · 18/10/2006 15:58

oops! i said to mum that she is best to go counselling but mum doesnt wants any of it as she isnt ready to talk about her twin - like she doesnt exist

i said that ill go to docs with her but she is still burying her head in the sand

OP posts:
Pitchounette · 18/10/2006 16:11

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Pitchounette · 18/10/2006 16:12

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lipsbite · 18/10/2006 21:20

hhmm. as its a fine line with her situation atm as i said that she cannot get any better the way she had been but can go worse ( but can people go better by themselves with no counselling??)

OP posts:
lipsbite · 19/10/2006 23:20

bump

OP posts:
Pitchounette · 20/10/2006 12:38

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lipsbite · 21/10/2006 11:22

thanks pitch for your advice as ive got the car back on the road this month so will able to see her at HER house and not her coming here all teh time

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