Why Do I feel like no one likes me?

[Whitegrenache]

Seriously, someone give me a shake.
Been mildly depressed / anxious for years controlled by Anti D and had course of CBT a few years ago.

I am sick and tired of being paranoid that no one likes me.
Every-time I am not included in anything remotely related to friends I feel like I have been deliberately excluded.
The sports club that my DD is involved in have not accepted my offer to go on the committee despite my offer for help and have taken up other peoples offers and I feel so sad about it.

Facebook drives me mad as I feel like everyone has a better life than me and I have ended up hiding certain peoples news feed to stop me feeling like this.

My DD (9) tells me her dad is the best and that I get on her nerves
DS (5) adores me
Mum and Dad don't have a good relationship with me and criticise me whenever I see them

To the outside, I look like the most positive person out there.

I am jovial, have a very good job, confident horse rider, extrovert and involved in lots of stuff like PTA, Charity work etc.
I have a lovely home, animals, DP and 2 lovely DC plus various dogs, horses and chickens!!

So why the hell can't I learn to love myself?

I am now starting to look to so called friends for validation but I feel that they will get fed up of this.

Please give me some thinking/coping techniques to try and overcome these negative feelings.

I am currently listening so emotional songs on youtube and crying telling myself to get a grip

im sorry youre feeling so low and vulnerable.

I dontnthink this sort of negative thinking is easy to break. I can be a bit prone to stinkin thinkin too, but im a lot better since i had a good bout of psychotherapy

'Mum and Dad don't have a good relationship with me and criticise me whenever I see them' - that's why

really Stripey?

Good god no one on here likes me too

Aww. For you. Counselling may be a good idea- but certainly you parents will have had an impact.

CBT is great for this, can you use some of the techniques you learned to give yourself a boost?

Falling asleep now but had to reply, however briefly . Write a list of 20 of your positive qualities and read it to yourself while looking in the mirror, just for starters. Repeat daily. (Yes really )

for you.

Turn the emotional songs off! I put Classic FM on when I am getting over-emotional to music. Worth a try? With a cup of tea. To get yourself in a calmer state of mind.

Also I wouldn't mull it over too much this late at night when you are probably knackered.

I think you're right that the key is self-love before anything else: "So why the hell can't I learn to love myself?"

Have you watched Brene Brown's TED talk on vulnerability? I fell apart listening to that - there's a bit where she talks about believing "I am worthy of love and belonging" and I realised I really did not believe that. I do now - that's a combination of lots of things… Anyway talk here, in case it's of interest:

www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability?language=en

I also think it's relevant in that vulnerability is really important to forming friendships. Perhaps this successful, confident, horse-riding, jovial self you put out there is not letting people see your vulnerabilities and really get to know you?

If you like you can PM me to remind me to add more tips tomorrow, otherwise I'm sure to forget. Night night

It's a horrible feeling and I suffer from it at times. Facebook is a killer for highlighting everything you are not doing. You may be projecting such a busy confident life people don't feel they need to worry about you. Have you got a good friend you could talk this I eat with.

It does sound like your parents could be the root cause though. Would you consider some counselling or CBT?

No tips or advice really sorry OP, just wanted to say you are not alone in feeling this way. From the outset it also appears that I have a 'wonderful' life and I am chatty, and can have a laugh, but on the inside I feel that no one actually likes me, or wants me around. I feel so anxious in social situations as I just sit there thinking no one actually wants me here, and they would be happier if I wasn't here. I know it's ridiculous, but I just can't help it, and it does make me quite depressed and lonely. Sorry, don't want it to seem I'm hogging your thread just wanted to let you know you're not the only one! Maybe CBT would be the best treatment for us?

Hi .. Im only very new to the site and stumbled across your post whilst trying to find a topic which related to my own situation and your thread leapt out at me.
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so low.. I can relate to most of the things you highlighted in your post.

I don't know what I could possibly say that will make a difference, except that you're not alone & I hope that it all improves for you.

Hi Op, I've suffered from severe anxiety since I was 6 years old, I'm now 26. All of it stems from my parents, harsh but true. I'm on venlafaxine 300mg for my mental health and it's been like having the entire world lifted from my shoulders - but I won't bullshit you, my demons still come back now and then. This will sound horribly contrived but the BEST place to start boosting your self esteem and confidence is with YOU. Start by looking in the mirror for a couple of minutes and telling yourself that there is nothing wrong with you, that people DO like you and if they don't? Their loss.
I went on a MINDFULNESS course which helped, I've seen a counsellor and had to try various AD's but I got there.
Try therapy/counselling, confiding in friends and your partner. If people ever say they don't want to know/don't care then ask yourself if they're really worth having around.
I still have days when I feel like curling into a ball, leaving the curtains closed, locking the door and turning off the phone, to hell with the world but we can't be perfect all the time, can we?

Good luck x