baby not sleeping

[HA78]

DD1 is 3 weeks old tomorrow, and not sleeping. HV thinks she has colic and reflux. Have tried swaddling, using infacol, ?colysins granules, gaviscon, hold her upright for 20 mins after a feed. She breastfeeds really well, but won't sleep. We were up till 5.15 this morning, refusing to sleep, crying or eyes wide open. Only holding her seems to help but DH thinks she's manipulating us, and needs to be left. Could this be true? What's anyone's experience? Feeling at the end of my tether, tried winding, swaddling, bathing in tummy tub, dream mover, but she hates it. Also tried dummy, but she fights sleep. Seems to give in to exhaustion eventually. Also difficult to know when to actually feed her as she's always ravenous, but I know she's feeding well and there's no problem with my milk. Please help.

A 3 week old baby can't manipulate you. Please don't just leave her.

I'm not sure there is one right answer. Does she sleep in the daytime? In the pram? Car seat?
At this stage I would (and have )do whatever works...ds slept in a rocking chair for the first 3 months as it was a position he liked, and it meant I got some sleep.

A 3 week old baby can't manipulate you. Please don't just leave her.

I'm not sure there is one right answer. Does she sleep in the daytime? In the pram? Car seat?
At this stage I would (and have )do whatever works...ds slept in a rocking chair for the first 3 months as it was a position he liked, and it meant I got some sleep.

She's 3 weeks old, until 20 days ago she was cocooned inside your body - she needs longer to adapt to life outside. She isn't manipulating you, she wants you to hold her. Please don't leave her, it will be unkind to both of you. Will she sleep in a sling?

She clearly wants something and it really is a process of elimation to see what it is. there is no way a 3 week old thinks right let's cry and annoy mummy/daddy. She is crying as it is the only way she has of telling you she isn't happy about something. Give her a cuddle!! Enjoy it too, it won't be that long before she waon't want hugging.

All my 3 were rotten sleepers while tiny. My 20month old dd slept with us until she was a few months old as it was the only way she would sleep - she hated the moses basket. She eventually went into her cot and we had no repercussions. She used to sleep on my husbands chest in bed til about 2am, while he slept then I'd feed her and she's cuddle up with me. There's was no way she would get squashed as when you have a tiny baby I don't think you go into a really deep sleep as you are so tuned into listening for them. I am horrible without sleep, so really sympathise! You have to do whatever helps you get through the first tricky bit, but it soon gets much better.

3 weeks old - agree with the rest can't manipulte you, she wants your cuddles and attention, many a time did I sit in the chair with joey at thaht age and have a cuppa whilst she slept soundly.

possibly your DD is overtired if she has the eyes wide awake look, althou at 3 weeks the boy was a horror as well - I put it down to the outlaws visiting and he settled better once they've gone.

don't be in a hurry to try too mnay solutions in one go, try one for a couple of days before you rule it out, unless of course it's having a real adverse effect.

also at that age DH went in the spare room on some nights (by my orders) and I had the boy on the bed with me inbetween two pillows - prob shouldn't have done it like that due to risking suffocating wiht the pillows but he seemed to sleep better by knowing I was there touching his head (I used to have my arm out straight touching his forhead so as I didn't roll onto him iycwim.

Please don't just leave your baby. re the feeding - are you demand feeding? could be a growth spurt coming on?? (can't remember when they are?) might well jsut be she's wanting more milk/the comfort of your boob to know your there.

he* even.

thanks for the advice. I don't just leave her and dh is in the spare room but we're in a bungalow so quite disruptive. Have got a sling on order so fingers crossed. The crying breaks my heart and when nothing seems to help it's so demoralising for us all. I just keep trying hugs and winding. I am demand feeding but hard to know what is hunger and what's pain, partic if she's just had a good feed.

when u wind her do u pat her back straight away? possibly she needs windin by rubbing in circles or something, differnt witht hat, does she bring her wind up at all?

does she sleep at all during the day etc? perhaps just spend a few days watching her sleeping etc to see how you go, (if anyhting it will give u a chance to have a sit down and relax, is this your first?

Hi

My heart really goes out to you as my DS had colic till he was 12 weeks - he is fine now - but if it is colic - firstlt time will help -i know that doesn't help right now - but IT WILL GET BeTTER.

I don't think he is trying to manipulate you - if when you pick him up he stops crying that is different a colicky baby will just keep going - and there is little point letting them cry it out - and i have to say when my son got betteri did spaced soothing ( a kinder form of controlled crying ) and it worked very fast but i don't thin kwoul dhave worked at all when he was coilicky - i could have left him for hours and he still would have cried as he was in pain..

Also i had some success with the following...
NUK teats dummies - as my son would only take a latex teat of different shape
Try to get him on a routine ( I know you are breast feeding ) but he is not always hungy when he cries and overfeeding can make colick worse
I cannot remember the name of the medication - begins with D - more expensice than infacol and you add it to feeds ( expressed milk) really did help.
swaddling and swaying
if all else fails - take him for a spin in the car -
Cranial steoopathy....i think it did help - he slept for his first time without any props after our 3rd session!!

I found small changes slowly - hold on in there and if need be call in the reinforcement for some help....

XX

FT

sory ABOUT TYPING

YEAH SLING - THAT MAY HELP THERE WAS A POINT WHEN THAT WAS HTE ONLY THING THAT WOULD HELP - THEY LIKE TO BE CURLED UP AND FETAL

REALLY ODD AS I HAVE NOW FORGOTTEN HOW BAD IT WAS - AND ALL THE THINGS I DID TO COPE

MAKE SURE YOU GET SOMEONE TO TAKE THE BABY OFF YOU SO YOU CAN HAVE A LITTLE BREAK - IT REALLY HELPS YOU COPE.....

AND REMEBER THAT CRYING IS THERE WAY OF COMMUNICATING - I KN OW IT IS AWFUL TO HEAR THEM CRYING BUT THAT IS ALL IT IS CRYING AND THEY ARE JUST COMMUNICATING THERE NEED WITH YOU.

xx

Have you spoken to a bf councellor at all? It's miserable getting so tired and the tiredness is a major factor in pnd. I'm really knackered at the moment and dd won't let me sleep at all. If you are so shattered, put your baby somewhere safe and have a snooze.

Hi - I really sympathise with you. My little boy is 8 weeks old now and for the first few weeks hardly slept at all, day or night. I was breast feeding and found that it was because he was hungry. He would cry an hour after having a good feed and at first I couldn't believe he was hungry again but he was. I ended up feeding every hour or two for a while - which is a nightmare at the time because you don't get any proper sleep, but it does get better and they are able to sleep more once they get a bit bigger.

Maybe this is the same for your little one.

Something else we found really useful was white noise - we tuned out the radio so there was just static noise and put it next to his crib. This combined with swaddling and a bit of rocking to help him to sleep really worked.

Good luck - it will get better!

I do feel for you. Its a rough time but it does gets better.

When baby is asleep don't try to catch up on everything - just use the time to sleep yourself. Just let it all go to pot for a while, forget the housework etc it can all wait.

My DD used to take day time naps happily on a bean cushion, I think she liked the warmth and feeling the softness around her. I emtied some of the filling out so she was closer to the floor and wouldn't roll off it. Obviously there may be some safety issues here, that some might raise...but I never left her and I was happy to catch up on much needed sleep for me. It worked for me. Found memories of napping in the chair next to her.

All my friends had babies that slept for hours, I was so envious. When second DD came along I couldn't beleive the difference. 2 x DD's are in Primary School now. One is a sleepwalker and has never slept for longer than 8 hours! I sleep half awake even now listening for her. The other DD was totally different and still loves to sleep.

I really feel for you. my son was a terrible sleeper and cried for most of the day. HV thought coli/reflux and just told me to use colief, granules etc but nothing helped. I bhad him in a sling all the time as he cried when i put him down. it was awful and i was like a zombie. I found that bf was difficult and ds always wanted more. When i first tried him on a bottle the hv said see if he will take 30 to 60 ml I can remember he gulped 150 and seemed to be a bit happier. From then on I bottlefed (not saying this is best) just what worked for me. I use to bath him massage him swaddle him and rock him.I used to sit for 2 or 3 hours with him sleeping in my arms as i knew if i put him down he would wake. I say just do what ever u have to to get through your day. Oh and singing helped to ans shhing,rubbing his back. I know its hard but hang in there, and try and take some you time, i finddsmuch easier to handle with a clear head.

Another thought - I've just remembered from a book someone gave me - if you swaddle your baby and lie her on her side (make sure she's really well wedged in so she can't fall onto her front) and then make really loud Shh-ing noises it helps to calm them down - it had supposed to replicate the noises and feelings of being in the womb. I was amazed that putting them onto their side works but it did with us!