Beating anxiety without meds

[Tea1Sugar]

Who's with me?

I had a god awful trial of Citalopram last week. Two words - never again. So I'm awaiting CBT, I'm now taking vitamins, I've bought self help guides and I'm going to (attempt) start running. Anyone fancy joining for moral support?

"Panicking about panic" is great too

So what are all your fears? Sure a lot of us will be able to relate! I'm petrified of blood (always anxious before period), hospitals (for the former!), hate being on my own too and pretty shit at eating out.

Speaking on the phone

Being late

Planning something far ahead of time

The thought of not being able to sleep (although this has abated since reading that book)

The fear that I'm unloved and unlovable

that's all I can't think of right now!

Lots of things!

Eating out
Needing the toilet and not being able to access one quickly
travelling
being 'stuck' somewhere
something happening to my dd or family
being ill
dying

I also fear never being free of anxiety and not being able to live life to the full

Lots of the same ones as girlie

Being sick, especially in public/someone hearing/seeing
Being dizzy/fainting
Dying
Lots of social ones, such as public speaking, telephone, fear of being ill in public etc
Being trapped/unable to get out of somewhere (e.g. I don't like flying, but it's nothing to do with being up in the air, it's because I can't get off!)
Driving (this one is related to lots of things, partly being trapped, if on a motorway for example, it's not easy to get off one, fear of causing an accident, general dislike of driving)

Think that's it!

Oh, I really hate eating out too, but can't pin down what it is that I dislike about it I'm famous amongst friends and family for eating like a sparrow when we are out, quite a few (including DH) feel the need to apologise to wait staff for my lack of appetite

I used to do a lot of travelling but now get anxious about packing and forgetting stuff, also get claustrophobic feeling now relating to airports and planes because can only go one way/can't get off when on plane. (This fear developed shortly after a long stressful period in my life). Also definitely worry about things happening to my family and don't think this one will go away.

Also not keen on crowds and people standing too close behind me.

Back to the GP today. I made the appt as a two week review of Citalopram but ha I lasted two pills. Still, I've kept the appt so going to ask her to chase up the CBT for me. I'm back to work from Mat leave next month and I'm shitting myself about that alone. I think having 9/10months of effectively doing nothing has been a huge fuel for my anxiety but now I'm faced with work again it's perpetuating it. I'm trapped in a cycle

Wow, I think we are all quite similar! I am very similar to you too whispers. I get claustrophobic, especially on planes (no fear of flying but just want to get off). I'm OK on buses and trains because they stop! I got better for a while - think I was distracted by the DC's - but after a v bad experience I had some CBT which helped. Flying makes me a bit nauseaus (or is it the anxiety?) So worry I will be sick. Just a warning, CBT does encourage you to step out of your comfort zone.

I went back to the Dr, I don't want to be on them but she gave me some more zopiclone sleeping tabs to get me back into a rhythm. BUT, I'm reading that 'effortless sleep' book which initially freaked me out a bit as I read about her 15 year problem & thought 'argh, what happens if that's me?!' Plus she is v disparaging about sleeping tabs. But I took a tablet last night, slept well so feel better today & will start weaning myself off them & try and think more positively. After all, a month ago I could sleep!!

I also HATE packing orangeflutie it sends me into an anxious spin!

It's amazing how none of us know each other but due to circumstances have all ended up with similar symptoms.

Blimey we are all really similar!

Good to know I am not the only neurotic one

Been to see my counsellor she seems really nice, it was very much a getting to know you the session today but have agreed to go to at least 6 sessions. Am hoping it will be beneficial, she has asked that I keep a journal of my dreams as sometimes with anxiety the reasons behind it can manifest in dreams....

The thing is I haven't really had many major traumas in my life, had a nice childhood, supportive, loving parents nothing that I can pinpoint and say thats the reason I am like this

Oh and flying makes me anxious for all sorts of reasons!! Claustrophobia, being up in the air, the toilets, the food, crashing, airports, getting to the airport!!

The last time I flew was to Menorca which must have been at least 3 years ago now, I would like to take my dd abroad again though at some point.

Bellini - please, please persevere with the book. Read it all, even if you think its not going to help. It might not, but then it just might.

girlefriend - keep going with the counselling sessions. They have helped me immensely. The funny thing is, as the sessions have gone on, it has slowly dawned on me just how much abuse I was subjected to as a child (not me myself, but witnessing it) and something has clicked with me. I am carrying around all the anger for my (very passive) mother and sister. They got the brunt of the abuse from my father, I was spared. But I witnessed it all. And so I carry 'survivors guilt' and also I have taken the stance of protector. This is why I am so angry and defiant. I can see this now - and just the knowledge has somehow changed me. Perhaps as your sessions go on you will uncover stuff that you buried deep (I certainly did) - which will be painful to relive, but also ultimately liberating. Well, it was for me, anyway.

Speaking of dreams...I have a recurring one, I have this dream maybe 2-5 times a year. And I had it again the night before last. It consists of a haunted house, a house I cannot escape. One room is particularly evil, and I am always drawn to this room at the end of my dream. The force of evil is so strong here that I can FEEL it. It has me rooted to the spot. Its terrifying. I wonder what this could mean!!

Hi all. I am a fellow anxiety sufferer and have been in this hell for 9 years now! Well 9 years in which it has severely impacted my life but I been anxious since childhood. I tried Prozac a few years back but all it did was make my intrusive thoughts worse. Won't try anything now. Part of it is that my mother was addicted to valium when I was growing up and I am terrified of drugs dumbing down my emotions so much that I abuse my children like I was abused, as irrational as that sounds.

I have been diagnosed with Complex PTSD, OCD and GAD but IMO they are just labels and I am basically on high alert at ALL bloody times and my mind comes up with the most crazy scenarios constantly with horrific images to boot mainly of stuff happening to my DC or me embarrassing myself in public. Sense of smell and hearing also on high alert so I am constantly telling my DC off about eating noises/smells which I hate myself for . I have also just started worrying that I may run someone over accidentally when I'm driving just to add some extra excitement to my day . I am also claustrophobic although I never used to be. Took my youngest DC to a play place where we had to climb through long a dark tunnel recently and I couldn't do it! I find it hard to make conversation at the school gate and any social situation as I constantly go over what I have said in case I have said something that makes me sound weird, stupid or rude so I am socially very isolated which I worry I have passed onto my DC too.

It is absolutely exhausting and has totally ruined my life career wise and financially. Thankfully my marriage has just about withstood it although my DH has found it very tough dealing with my neurosis! Poor bloke.

I have had extensive counselling so I know where it all stems from and it has helped me to accept that I am not certifiably insane after all as I have been told by my mother since I was a young child. That is my biggest fear that I may go insane actually. I actually begged my GP to lock me up once due to the OCD intrusive thoughts and he looked at me like !

My main physical symptoms are lightheadedness (actually had a CAT scan to rule out a tumour ), pins and needles, tremors, heart palpatations and the feeling that I will just fall down . It doesn't help that I am on such high alert to bodily sensations now that I notice every little thing nor that I have 4DC to deal with mostly single handedly as DH works very long hours. My youngest is only 4.5 so I got pregnant with him while I was in the thick of this and it was bloody hard to keep it together and function normally. Now he is at school so I really need to sort myself out finally so I can get back to work because being bored at home all day makes me much worse. I was started a University degree last year but couldn't even finish the first year as I kept having panic attacks during the lectures.

I will start exercising tomorrow when the period from hell that I am currently on finally stops hopefully! I have read most self help books but had not heard of the Ruby Wax one so will look for that on Kindle.

Look forward to joining you all on this journey to calmness x

Oh flying. I am terrible nowadays. I used to fly long haul regularly with the DC when the older ones were younger without a second thought and actually look forward to it and enjoy it. There is no way you'd get me on a plane now. DH's parents live abroad and we have had to make the 3000 mile round trip by car for the last 6 years!

Hi Bubble have you read the panic about panic book by Joshua Fletcher? I have found his book the most helpful although he says at one point that you just have to 'stop doing it' which is massively easier said than done he does acknowledge that though!

I love his book girlie!!

How are we all this morning? Looking forward to the weekend?

I am pleased to say that a shitty night's sleep last night did not phase me this morning. Well, it nearly did, but I did not allow it to happen. And I am feeling very happy with myself.

My DS is a brilliant sleeper usually, but the past week he has been really clingy at bedtimes, and last night he woke at 1.30 and I had to sing him to sleep. I don't think I got back to sleep until about 3ish. Usually this would send me into a fearful panic, and I probably would have taken the day off work the next day.

But, after reading that book, I no longer panic about not sleeping. And I woke this morning (6.30), yes, feeling tired. But not feeling stressed or grumpy. The thought of doing a sickie flitted through my mind, but that's all it did, and up I got and into the shower. I can have an early night tonight if I like. Its no biggy! Its taken me a very long time to get to this place and I feel calm when I thin about it now. This is a huge step for me!! I was totally obsessed with sleep before now.

I do, however, feel a little anxious about this weekend though - going to stay at my sister's house. She has a very loud and boisterous brood who I find very hard to handle. I get totally stressed out with their behaviour and level of noise. I worry about how DS will not sleep, that it will have a knock on effect and make his sleeping habits worsen (I suppose I'm not totally cured of my sleep obsession!!)

Does anyone have any coping strategies / tips??

I am doing o.kay today also didn't sleep well last night, it was very windy and the noise I think didn't help. I woke up feeling anxious and retched a few times but have not taken any anti sickness tablets as felt it was more anxiety than anything else.

However have had a good day, been into town with my mum, even had lunch out which I thought would phase me but didn't, home now and have my nieces 1st bday party later which will be nice.

Have been staying at my mums all week but all being good will go home tomorrow and hopefully things will start getting back to normal!

Urchin I would find ways to distract yourself if you start to feel stressed/anxious i.e. go out for a walk or go and sit in another room by yourself for a bit. Re your ds not sleeping (how old is he?) could you keep him up a bit later so more likely to sleep through? I used to stress about this with my dd but now she is older (nearly 9yo) I find I am much more relaxed about her staying up and going with the flow!

Isn't it nice when you think you are going to be stressed about something, and as it turns out, it was fine? I think this is when people say "go out of your comfort zone" - it does help to just do it - its never usually as bed as you think it was going to be. Or something.

My little boy is 2.5yo. He has slept through 12 hours every night since he was about 6 months old (bar illness / teething). It used to be that we would get him ready for bed, the usual routine. Put him in his cot, say night night, and leave the room. He would be asleep in minutes.

Now, its a nightmare. He is so clingy and will scream blue murder if we leave him alone. He wants a story and then singing until he falls asleep. We've tried later bed times. Tried no napping in the day. Tried nightlights / door open / leaving him to cry - nothing seems to be working.

Am hoping its just a phase...

I was so pleased to read your post urchin. I'm trying to follow the sleep book. I had yet another terrible night, got up to read but suspect I slept a couple of hours at best. Been feeling tense & anxious all day & thinking about sleep. I'd taken half a zopiclone but I couldn't seem to drop off. I really don't want to rely on a tablet, I see it's a crutch & would rather try and do it naturally. But my brain just sabotages any hope.

I felt very weepy this morning & really snapped at the DC's

I'm meant to be going to a party Sat night (will drive there) and keep thinking I shouldn't be on the road if I've had little sleep. Am already thinking of cancelling!

But I am determined, must harness those positive thoughts.... Did you find the book helped you straight away or it took a while to implement it? There is a chance the pills may be making the insomnia worse.

A good night's sleep really is the key to my stable mental health at the mo.

My DC's are at school now and I defo remember when they would enter into a weird sleep phase. Just try and not get into bad habits as they are harder to crack - easier said than done I know. My little one (6) sometimes can't fall asleep unless I get in with her for a cuddle.

Sleep is a funny one isn't it, I went to bed early last night as could hardly keep my eyes open, think I went off to sleep quite well but then awake at about 3am is feeling anxious. Tried to say some positive affirmations (I am safe, all is well etc) went back off to sleep at some point but woke up again this morning feeling really anxious again

It really does make you feel like you are going a bit crazy when you don't even know what you are feeling anxious about!! Still waking up and retching as well can't see me being well enough for work next week, have a dr appointment on Monday so will see what he says.

Omgggg!! Last night I had ten friends over for food and drinks. I'm totally socially inept this days so even the thought of a big group at my own house was scary. But I laughed soo much, I mean proper out loud belly laughs for hours which I haven't done for ages coz this bastard anxiety takes over. I ate in front of people too and just had FUN. The potential is there in me - in all of us - to get out of this hole and last night I finally saw the wood from the trees for the first time. On the up people!!

Yay tea thats amazing!! Well done

I am back at my flat for the first time in a week, slept well last night I think. Have been reading Ruby Waxs book Taming the mind and trying to practice Mindfulness, not sure I am doing it right but am giving it a go anyway!! Still feeling anxious a lot but am trying to change the way I think about it and respond to it.

Just read this thread. Have just begun to take Propranolol for anxiety. Been on it since tues and it seems to be helping so far