My CPN is leaving

[Rinoachicken]

I've been working with her for 2 years and she's the best one I've ever had. She's got a new job and is leaving at the end of January and although they are recruiting there is no replacement yet.

My emotions are swinging wildy around from being sad, scared, not feeling anything, feeling abandoned, feeling angry with myself like I should have seen it coming, feeling stupid for getting so attached, etc etc.

I'm off work at the moment due to my MH and due to start back in Feb, it's a really difficult time and I just feel alone. I've been really battling intrusive thoughts of self-harm lately (2 years clean woo!) and now I feel as though I'm almost resigning myself to falling back in the habit without the support I've become to rely on.

Don't really know why I'm posting tbh, there's nothing anyone can do, I just need to talk I suppose. Feeling sorry for myself, though I have no right to - there are so many going through much worse right now.

Has she talked through the ending with you? I now the support from a cpn is very different from that from a therapist, but it's still the end of a very significant relationship and can bring about all sorts of feelings
Talk to her about how you feel and your fears.
There may be others going through what you see as much worse, but losing such a significant source of support is pretty huge in anyone's world

hello, i too had an excellent cpn, from day one i was so lucky- genuinely caring with commonsense, bags of experience but quite humble, very responsive, never tried therapy or counselling on me, like a friend of the family. he moved post in september 2014. my mh started to deteriorate since with the new cpn taking over: interrupted my appointment with the consultant, pressure on me to take up DBT, no care plan copy etc. last week i told her to put the phone down as she was making me worse. so ive been emailing the cmht manager about her care and requesting a different cpn. i don't like arguing or even sticking up for myself, esp. when having a difficult week. my doctor is brilliant- even though new to me he knows me better and cares better than the new cpn and cmht. it's been aweful, and got on so well with the previous consultant psych and cpn. my current mental instability, funny heads, poor mornings correlate with this new cpn period. i found making points of difference between me and the cmht to the manager, with my doctors backing and intervention has turned things around onto an even keel. new cpn phoned to soft soap me, unsuccessfully.
i am sorry you feel so alone and in distress. you will likely feel some long term benefit from your time with the cpn, because he/ she was so good with you. obvious point but do you have friends or family you can confide with, or a good family gp? my new cpn made me feel bad about my time with the old one, but she was mistaken- your cpn has been really good and caring for you, which is a true blessing. sorry too you have intrusive thoughts- that must be painful, medication may help as it has helped me. sorry to write more about myself than yourself, but i hope things can stabilise and they find you a good enough cpn for you.

So sorry you are losing your CPN and hope things settle down for you mypip but don't lose heart Rino - I had a brilliant CPN for 2 years and when she told me she was leaving the area I was soooo upset. But the next one has been even better than the first one - she's SO caring and we have become more like friends. SO the new one might be ok.

Hi there sorry to hear your cpn is leaving.it must be very emotionally draining for you.and now these horrible thoughts coming back on self harm.it sounds like your struggling with who you’ll turn to when in need.please try to let your nurse know what’s happening for you.its so very hard to deal with change and yes I guess it could bring about past behaviours.my cpn left few weeks ago after 6 years.i was so upset and still am to be honest.my new cpn is so kind but I am still getting to know my nurse.i also though about self harm .id once done.i feel my mh is slowly deteriorating and I feel again I am living this secret life where self construct is a huge part of it..my new nurse is not putting any form of pressure on me to do anything I don’t wish to do,yet it’s still hard can I truly open up and let this person in to what’s is my very private inner world.please hang on in there speak if you can openly with your cpn.you won’t or shouldn’t be judged.dont be hard on yourself be kind and allow yourself to feel how you do.i hope you manage to get a new cpn that’s iqually carring.goodluck.please come back and let me know how’s things going with you 😊😊😊