I am going to have a full blown panic attack aren't I?

[netalooter]

From last year I've been getting panic attacks and suffering from severe anxiety. I struggle when I'm in a crowded area, like trains for example. I feel that I'm trapped and suffacating.
I've been offered a role in London which fits around my childcare arrangements. But it involves commuting into London everyday. I will get in from St.Albans at 8.30 am and head towards London St.Pancras, which is very well known to be an unreliable, crowded service.
I'm already panicking thinking about the journey and contemplating ringing the employer and saying I'm turning down the offer.

This is my new role after 9 months on mat leave, and I'm dreading that it'll go horribly wrong. In the sense that the nursery might ring me to collect her (Incase of an illness) and I'll be stuck somewhere on a train having a panic attack. Sorry it it sounds a bit like a rambling, I just needed to get all the various thoughts in my head out...

Hi,

I suffer from anxiety with panic attacks, so you have my sympathy.

It's so easy to get into a panic about panicking that you end up having a vicious circle of anxiety.

How are you managing these feelings of anxiety/panic?
Could it be that you've been out of the swing of things for a while that your nervous of changes to your current life?

It's so hard to net let this win.

Don't make any rash decisions just yet. Have you spoken to your gp about this?

I've booked an appointment for later this week.

That's good. Be clear in your appointment how far this is affecting you and your life.

Do you know of any trigger that started this off?

It was a combination of pressure of TTC, thinking how I/we will cope with a baby, not having family or friends to talk to, and lonleness

I just bottled everything up and it came out as a panic attack one day while I was waiting for the train. From that day onwards I've struggled to get into trains..

Well take small, manageable steps, and speak to your GP.

Try and not over think things(I do this) and I end up winding myself up.

Good luck and update how you get on at the drs.
Take care.

You can do this! It isn't easy but the only way to make it easier is to push through the fear until doing it becomes greater than the fear of doing it (if that makes sense). Remember, you cause the anxiety in you - the train and the crowds are not a genuine threat, otherwise everyone would be freaking out. Remind yourself if you had the power to create this worry then you have the power to take it away. Do not let yourself miss out on an amazing opportunity because of a "what if" fear that might not happen.

What if you handle it amazing and you rock that job? Bet on yourself X