does seeking help = being kept from children?

[username1986]

Some quick back story...
I've attempted suicide once but failed when I was very young and a few other attempts I chickened out of (nobody knows, never sought help)... but that all changed when I had children, my love for them conquered everything and it was like how I'd felt in the past never happened. And that brings me to now, where I've had an abundance of health issues leading to children missing school to social care involvement to me telling them to do one which lead to my children being put on a child protection register ( I wouldn't let social services in - they called it non co operation) but they done their meddling for the usual kind of assessment period - content with the fact my children were well looked after and were subsequently removed from said register. Health issues continue, including a diagnosis for cancer (prognosis great, wasn't physically detrimental - mental aspect I'm having trouble with) but now I'm deeply depressed and having "pre" suicidal thoughts. I'm crying a lot and having random breakdowns in public, random bouts of anxiety, etc... and the trigger seems to be when I'm away from my children. When they're at school, in bed, when they're at their dad's... and I'm certain that I would never dare have the audacity to commit suicide so long as I have my children but the thought does linger "what's the point, what if I wasn't alive"... but what I'm looking for is what is people real accounts and experiences of seeking help for mental health issues, specifically if they were a lone parent? I want to explore some avenues that I hope will lead to feeling better (avidly against anti deppressents, they will only mask my issues) but I obviously can't do that without telling my gp how I've been feeling and I'm concerned that I'll be kept from children in doing so. I don't mean having them taken away but if I were to remain in hospital or something and I'm certain that it will be flagged with social services due to the previous involvement? I know fine well if I were kept from them I would attempt to kill myself in the heat of feeling sorry for myself

If you are very depressed you need to see your GP but won't be able to do that now until after Christmas, but there should be a an out of hours service. If you phone the usual number, there should be a number on the answerphone that you can contact. However you said you won't take ADs so not really sure what else they can do. Maybe when you can get to your own GP practice you can ask for counselling.

I don't think you should worry about being admitted to hospital or having to remain in there, as they do everything they can to keep people out of hospital because there is so much pressure on the mental health service.

Hope you can calm down a little and think of "exploring avenue" to feel better once Christmas is over.

This is an ongoing issues that I've put up with for around 18 months. I don't have any sense of urgency but it is getting worse, along with my physical ails. Ideally I would like counselling and to just not be in pain or hindered anymore but that involves management from a variety of other health professionals. I've demanded better care but it never escalates. It's always try a new dose and see how it goes kind of thing

My issues aren't quite the same as yours, but I'm having similar worries - my advice would be on balance it's better to seek help. Your children were taken off the register and so the positive reasons for that will be recorded and the sw's will have demonstrated their previous concerns were groundless. I'm a qualified social worker (though I don't work as a SW now and I've never worked in children's services, I studied it a bit when I was training) but from my limited contact with them professionally yes if you tell them to do one they'll look into things further with gusto (which could be vindictiveness, or could be that a lot of serious case reviews recently have criticised the social worker's for backing down when parents wouldn't co-operate, or a bit of both). I've had recent mental health struggles with prenatal OCD and my midwife has started talking about getting social services involved after the baby is born which devastated me but at the same time if I hadn't been honest with the professionals I wouldn't be getting any help. And by honest I mean screamed and cried and demanded someone bloody help me until they couldn't fob me off any longer. You've got an awful lot going on and how you're feeling seems totally understandable in the situation so I wouldn't be afraid to seek help. It's totally your choice but anti-depressants can help in the interim, I've had a few periods over the years where I've used them whilst I waited for/was in the early stages with counselling and I found they got me into a place where I could work on things better. As it happens I've got a mental health social work and psychiatrist appointment tomorrow, I desperately don't want to go now as my OCD means I'm scared to visit the mental health offices for germ-related reasons, but I'm going to go because I don't want any hint of 'non-co-operation' going down on my health or social care records. Which I mention only to show I'm trying to practice what I preach!

Oh and they are super unlikely to take you to hospital, costs a fortune!!