Hi. First time posting in this section. Using a NC I used to post about something that recently happened (posted elsewhere on MN).
A few weeks ago I was sexually assaulted/raped. I was okay for a day or two then not very good at all and now back to mostly ok. I was already under quite a lot of stress due to studies and other things. I am taking care of practicalities (STI testing tomorrow as it's then been three weeks, blood tests for HIV etc in another 9 weeks) and managing well I think, but it's triggered some anxiety/stress related stuff.
I've been to the Dr before about anxiety and was fobbed off once or twice when I was about 16/17. I presented with anxiety (panic attacks) but was self harming and also purging etc. Not Drs fault as I didn't tell him that. Nothing happened. I went a few more times desperate and about 5 years ago (18/19) had 6 weeks of group CBT because they said I was depressed. Been back since and had it put down to anaemia. I'm not anaemic anymore though- had bloods recently. I haven't been particularly depressed for over a year. I've been absolutely buoyant actually which is how I know something is wrong...because I now know what happy/normal feels like and I'm desperate for that feeling back less sporadically.
Really I desperately want something to help me cope until June, when my studies finish. April really, as there will be less stress then. I don't want to take ADs (if they offered them which I doubt) because of side effects and difficulty complying (I know myself well, I wouldn't bother taking them if I felt ok and I mostly do). I just want something to help with the physiological symptoms short term. Palpitations, shakes, adrenaline rushing through me, crying/hyperventilating. I had to walk out of work today because of it. It usually only lasts a few hours (not all symptoms for that long obviously, but the general dready feeling) and is not every day. So I dont need regular medication. I am not a good sleeper but luckily this doesn't matter because I can work through the night and sleep when it suits me.
Can I ask my dr for this? What are the chances of them giving me them? Beta blockers or something? At the moment if genuinely desperate I am having a very small drink and that genuinely helps. Maybe a placebo I don't know. And like I said it isn't every day. But it isn't practical, and is unhealthy (I am quite health conscious).
I don't know how to ask without sounding like I am just asking for free (well, actually not free!) drugs to abuse. Should I bother?
Apologies if this message is hard to follow I am asking this because I am currently not feeling bright and hence a bit panicked and manic and not myself.
Everyone suggested counselling on my previous post about the assault but I don't think its necessary and if it is I suppose I must not be ready because I would rather leave it be and not think about that quite now.
Thanks.