Is this really it?

[Kittykattz]

Hello everyone. I'm new to mumsnet and not sure this is the right place to post.

I've been having a pretty crappy few months and I'm totally depressed and what's worse is I have no reason to be depressed. I turned 41 recently and that wasn't great but I'm just looking at stuff all the time thinking is this it, is this really my life for the next 40 years.

I've been married 15 years two wonderful kids whom I adore. My marriage is happy enough, we are both professional people and do ok financially, so why can't I get out of bed each day and why do I cry all the time. I'm struggling with this so much as I'm normally a strong person but now I'm just at the point of walking away from home and not coming back and I've no idea why.

I'm sure you all have serious stuff going on in your lives and this all seems stupid but if anyone can help me get through this I'd be very grateful. Xx

Hello Kittykattz. Depression is an illness and while it can be triggered by negative life events this isn't always the case, sometimes it strikes out of the blue. Please see your gp and discuss this with them, they will not laugh at you I promise. You can and deserve to be helped.

It sounds like you have a depressive illness. Sometimes there's a definite cause (usually loss of one sort or another) but sometimes it can just emerge, which seems to be the case with you. Mental illness is no respecter of age, social class, gender, or anything else really.

You need to see a GP and get some help - some of them have a check list of the major symptoms of depression (you have mentioned 3 of them - unable to face the day, prolonged bouts of crying and wanting to walk away from everything.....) you certainly won't be telling him/her anything they haven't heard hundreds of times before.........approx. one third of GP consultations are MH related)

SO please make an appointment and get the help you need. You will get through this but you can't do it on your own any more than you could mend your own broken leg. Mental illness is made worse because there is still a stigma attached to it which is very sad, given that 1 in 4 people will suffer at some point in their lives.