Feeling so low

[Mummyoftwobeautifulpoppets]

I normally post in relationships and had a recent thread about an unplanned pregnancy.

I'm a single mum with two lovely DC (hence the name!), have been seeing a lovely man but recently found out I'm pregnant..we've only been seeing each other three months.
So annoyed with myself for being irresponsible. Last two relationships were abusive and I promised myself I would create a stable happy normal home for DC. Have an appt on tues at the pregnancy clinic with a view to having a termination and just feel so so low.

I feel I have no other option though. I temporarily stopped taking my sertraline for anxiety/depression when I found out, just in case I continued with the pregnancy.

I don't know, I feel so lost. Part of this is that although this chap is lovely, it's early days and I think the prev relationships broke something in me. That's how I feel; lost and broken. I'd love a long term relationship, but I don't know how to love myself first. The pregnancy has made me hate myself even more.
I feel like a terrible mother today.

don't hate yourself. with your past it sounds like you want stability and security- inevitably a baby with someone you don't know would make that difficult. nobody has to know- and you don't hate to walk around with a badge saying you've had a termination.

before i had any dc i had a children i had a termination and it's something i am glad ive done. it's meant i got my degree and have children with somebody i love and intend to be with for a lifetime.

am here to chat if you need to speak x

Thanks so much rockinrobin, I know sometimes a termination is the right thing to do. I'm not looking forward to it, but I've accepted it.
It's the other underlying things that are making me feel so bad I think. So much guilt and shame from the previous relationships. The general 'broken' feeling. I've had counselling but it doesn't seem to touch it. Medication is also like a sticking plaster. There's nothing else to try is there? That's why I think I'm broken.

sorry OP had a busy day. read a book 'CBT' or cognitive behavioural therapy. it saves you doing the classes and gives you different outlooks on situations. xx

Thanks robin, will check it out! Feeling more positive today..the hormones, lack of sertraline and other stressful things are really messing my head up at the moment!

You have a lot going on it's no wonder you're feeling low.

You've made a decision that you feel is right for you and your DC.

You should feel proud of yourself that even when you are feeling so low and have had such a rough time that you are still putting your DC first and making rational decisions.

Do you have anyone in RL that can help you through this?

sending you supportive thoughts