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Original poster

self harm (sorry)

28 replies

pnutter · 10/12/2014 17:16

I am self harming it's becoming addictive what can I do ?? I feel ok when I do it but I know logically it's disgusting ..and I'm quite scared as to how it seems to have taken hold of me. I take Ads already...can't afford to not work ..keeping going but I know something must be wrong

OP posts:
chockbic · 10/12/2014 17:18

Have you tried any therapy to uncover possible reasons?

Original poster
pnutter · 10/12/2014 17:23

Not recent but have loads of stuff in past. I will call samaritans ..im in work and feel terrible

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FarelyKnuts · 10/12/2014 17:23

It's not disgusting. You have found a way too cope with feelings that were overwhelming for you. There are better ways to deal with the feelings though. Have you tried any kind of counselling to address why you are self injuring?

chockbic · 10/12/2014 17:24

What about trying anti anxiety meds?

Original poster
pnutter · 10/12/2014 17:25

It is pretty disgusting..its really noticeable too I'm such a mess
I am on waiting list for more psychotherapy .

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chockbic · 10/12/2014 17:26

You aren't a mess just trying to cope with overwhelming feelings.

Do you have access to a CMHT?

Original poster
pnutter · 10/12/2014 17:26

Yes perhaps gp again..was suicidal in sept. .back at work after 5 weeks but on disciplinary now if I'm off sick again. Will see gp when I can.

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chockbic · 10/12/2014 17:27

OK hope you're able to access help Flowers

FarelyKnuts · 10/12/2014 17:31

Samaritans is a good idea if you are waiting for psychotherapy.
There are lots of CBT methods you can use to help you delay the impulse to SI if you want to. The actual urge will pass after 7 minutes if you can find a way to distract yourself from it for that long. It will come back however if you aren't dealing with the reasons why you want to harm yourself.
But as a short term thing finding methods of distraction and/our lower impact strategies such a ice cubes/rubber bands etc can help

Original poster
pnutter · 10/12/2014 17:35

Thanks

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Original poster
pnutter · 11/12/2014 23:06

Feel like I should just give up. ..but dd needs me it's so hard

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chockbic · 13/12/2014 22:16

Do you want to talk about why you feel disgusting?

Original poster
pnutter · 14/12/2014 08:36

Hi chock well the self harm looks rather disgusting. My husband told me so too.
The thing is that I think the self harm is just a small part of my problems. I actually feel every day that I can't cope and I feel like I'm going to end up locked up . It's like the pressure is growing and eventually I will break. I'm very scared. I am going to call gp tomorrow. Partly I hope they do lock me up.

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chockbic · 14/12/2014 12:40

Let us know how you get on.

Feel free to chat if you're up to it.

Original poster
pnutter · 14/12/2014 12:48

Thank you. Dh has taken kids out I'm just not up to it. Have a lot going on in our lives currently. Luckily Dh really supportive at the moment.
I've taken some tramadol as I'm so anxious and going to try to nap.

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chockbic · 14/12/2014 12:50

Do you good to have a rest.

Original poster
pnutter · 14/12/2014 13:42

Does anyone know what the gps likely reaction will be to my self harm? I'm likely to lose my job if I get signed off sick.

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FaithLoveandGrace · 15/12/2014 10:40

Hi pnutter, I struggle with self harm too so wanted to reply. The GP is most likely to be understanding of the self harm (or at least any good GP will be!). I'd recommend getting back into counselling if at all possible. Is there any way of maybe upping your AD dose?

I've never been very good at distracting myself so I don't have much practical advice unfortunately. I suppose the things that have helped me a little have been writing about how I feel - even if I end up just writing utter nonsense, drawing with red pen on myself, scribbling on paper rather hard. I can't think of anything else off the top of my head but if I do I'll pop back in. The website lifesigns is a dedicated self harm support site and may help (www.lifesigns.org.uk).

Sending lots of safe hugs and Flowers Keep writing here if it helps.

Original poster
pnutter · 16/12/2014 23:48

Thank you so much Faith ! I really appreciate you replying. It's such a horrible horrible misunderstood and "dirty secret" . I hope you're ok. I've had a bit of a slip tonight because Dh was telling me off about something . Haven't got a gp appt yet..try again tomorrow X

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FaithLoveandGrace · 17/12/2014 07:42

pnutter I'm sorry to hear you slipped up. I do hope you're okay this morning. Good luck phoning the GP. I know it's so so hard but you can do it :)
I really do hate the stigma attached to self harm. Acceptance of other unhealthy coping mechanisms is becoming more common but unfortunately self harm is still massively misunderstood. I think it's one of those issues that unless you have struggled yourself or had someone close to you struggle, you just can't know what it's like.

chockbic · 17/12/2014 16:20

Hope you managed to get an appointment.

Original poster
pnutter · 19/12/2014 12:38

I'm sorry..i really need some more advice....i am getting worse...im drinking excessively as well and my moods are shockingly swinging..last night I stayed up all night and hurt myself quite a bit. I need to be locked up i think. Is there such a thing? Somewhere I can go to recover. .my kids are away at xmas (from tomorrow) I feel I might kill myself if I don't do something. .im actually in work right now til 6...

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chockbic · 19/12/2014 13:03

Is there a crisis team you can get in touch with?

Original poster
pnutter · 19/12/2014 14:02

Just called them thanks they are calling me back after work

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