Anxiety returned?

[anxiousmum12]

Has anyone overcome anxiety for it to come back? I am sure it happens a lot.
Before I had DD, I was quite a positive person. But I struggled after having her and was diagnosed with postnatal anxiety last year. I had counselling, which really helped. I was terrified of everything, obsessed with death, scared of terrible things happening to my daughter and me. Had anxiety attacks, intrusive thoughts and OCD and wasn't sleeping.
I was prescribed anti anxiety tablets but didn't take them as I was still breastfeeding my daughter.
We then moved to a new area and I made a decision that I wanted to enjoy my life again and I thought that I was doing well. I've made some new friends and have got involved with the community.
But recently the old jittery feelings have come back. I'm self employed but it's not going brilliantly, in terms of my earnings.
Things aren't fantastic between me and DH. He hates his job and is trying to find a new one but isn't having much luck. Our DD only sleeps in our bed so we don't get much couple time and we don't have any family nearby to help out.
Added to that, I've started driving again after years of being too frightened (I passed my test in my early twenties - I'm not mid thirties). My instructor says that I'm a good driver but I feel so nervous before I drive that I can be reduced to tears.
DD has quite dramatic tantrums at the moment - normal for her age, I know, but I cannot cope with them. I feel like my head's going to explode and I cannot stay calm. Yesterday, I yelled at her in town because she wouldn't wear her hat and gloves even though it was freezing. I hate myself because I feel that if I carry on like this, I am going to be a terrible mum!
Should I go back to the GP? Would anti anxiety tablets help this time, do you think? I don't want to become reliant on anything but I can't carry on feeling like this, like I'm wading through mud. I just feel so incapable and am really struggling. Fleetingly, I've thought that everyone would be better off if I was dead but I wouldn't act on it because I couldn't leave my daughter.
Sorry to moan but I don't want to tell anyone in RL because I don't want people to think that I can't cope.

No advice but watching.

I have suffered relatively recent anxiety (and depression). I've only been off medication 6 months or less. But im struggling. I'm easily overwhelmed by everyday things - making phone calls, ordering christmas pressies, working out what to cook. I too snapping at the kids. Running out of milk. Forgetting to fill in forms for school. Generally being a bad parent. I'm currently job hunting and I know that gettig back into work will stabilise me and give me more structure. But I also know that the jobs I am looking for are high stress.

I am also struggling because my anxiety is affecting my job search. I can only deal with one application at a time because I am overwhelmed by more. And I need to make phonecalls but thats too hard for me some days. And I need to receive phone calls and I literally can't answet the phone. I've blocked all incoming calls from unknown numbers.

It's catch 22.

I don't know what to do for the best. I don't know whether to go back on medication. I don't even know if it helped. I think it did because I am strugglig more than ever.

Hi. That sounds tough. I know what you mean about being overwhelmed. I work from home so I'm constantly fretting about work stuff, whilst also trying to keep on top of housework. That's why I feel like wading through mud. There's always stuff to worry about.
Did you notice that the meds helped you feel less overwhelmed? I just seem to feel constantly jittery and afraid.

I dunno.

At first I was on 20mg fluoxetine and I was really shaky and jittery and having read the info leaflet I saw that that was one of the side effects. When I went back for my review a couple of weeks later my GP increased the dose which really confused me cos I was convinced it was a side effect but that really settled down to my surprise. I was much more stable on 40mg fluoxetine to the point where I was lifted out of that mud I was wading in but not quite able to function everyday normally so I was changed to venlafaxine 75mg I think. Initially that did make me really jittery and horrifically agitated but it settled down. It was about 9months or so after my breakdown that I felt I was regaining control. This was 2-3 months after starting venlafaxine so I guess I assumed it was "working" and I moved on. "Sorted my head out". Started to live a more normal life. I was on venlafaxine for about a year and stopped taking it (with GP support) this summer.

its the last 8 weeks or so that I have been really mega up and down. I know when I was on fluoxetine previously a few years ago I told the GP that I felt thay the lows weren't as low and highs weren't as high. Its like my moods were more stable and and "level" and I didn't experience either extreme.

I guess that's where I'm at now. The extremes. My moods, motivation, anxiety levels are at one extreme or the other. I swing from highs to lows within a few hours. And day to day. I guess I'm overwhelmed because I'm struggling to keep up with myself.