Just returned from GP, prescription for Prozac...feeling crap about it...

[Corrin]

Hi Mumsnetters

I finally took the plunge and went to see the GP about my feelings of stressed outness, crying, feeling sh**y and generally wanting someone to stop the bus so I can get off...

Instead of feeling good though I feel bad and really feel scared about having to take these... I don't want to give in to tablets and feel ashamed...have just told DH and he seems quite shocked about it...which surprises me because he's had to live with me...he seems to think I'm not the sort of person to need them...

I've been feeling on and off like this since DS was born 18 months ago...and am feeling terribly guilty about feeling so low when only have a couple of months left with DD until she starts school in Jan...she is great at the minute no bother but DS seems to be terrorising everything!

He wakes up shouting or crying (6.30 ish) and then that continues...I find himn a real challenge.

Lost my well paid pt job in Jan with stressful redundnacy and appeal...I think its perhaps all taken its toll and now the smallest thing sets me back.

I'm writing this as an eldest of 4 kids and the one who is in control and sorts stuff out...I feel desperate that this has happened and am currently going through thoughts that the GP might not be right and that I shouldn't 'resort' to tablets...

Can any of you wonderful ladies offer any insight, thoughts...I'd be really grateful...

Corrin...

Hello, Corrin. Well done for going to the GP.

ADs are (someone on MN told me) like stabilisers on a bike. You won't need them for all eternity, just till you stop wobbling. I was on them for 9 mths, they worked, I felt better/normal again, and I came off them without a hitch.

Someone also told me that 'copers' are often more susceptible to depression bcs they don't give their anxieties space to breathe, they try not to focus on them. Not sure how true this is but anyway, it's a thought.

I'd give the pills a chance. Of course you'll get better without them but this will speed it up and soon you'll start enjoying stuff again, rather than just dragging yourself through it.

PND is a chemical inbalance in the brain and just as much an illness as diabeties, asthma, etc. All sorts of people get depression and it is nothing you have or haven't done. Take the tablets, expect them to take a few days to kick in and just take things one step at a time. Try and eat lettuce and bananas as they have seretocin in which is a natural happy enhancer and don't be so hard on yourself.

It is so much better when you are well......

Thank you...just reading your replies is making me cry...I can't believe what's happening to me at the mo...don't know where the old me has gone...
DH doesn't like the idea and am a bit worried about his view of me if I take them but actually think its the right thing to do now...want to enjoy my kids again...

My DH struggled too. He got it in the end. But it's so difficult to understand if you aren't actually experiencing it. Download some PND leaflets and shove them at him. It's a frickin' illness. And it won't go on forever.

Wanted to say too...does anyone else feel totally weighted down by responsibilities? All these things that I now have to sort...stupid things as well as the normal things...walking the dogs.(looking after my mums dog)...etc etc. I wish I was my husband buggering off to work and coming back at 6 to joyful children, bathing them and the eating my 'cooked for me' tea...

Good idea bakedpot...I'll do that...he's really laid back and the last person to get something like this...

Oh yes, that's part of it too (though I think we all get that drained feeling to a degree, just look around MN). PND seems to suck the energy away though, so normal things seem very difficult.

Anyway everyone needs to muck in until you're feeling better. DH needs to take pressure off you. He needs to cook for YOU. Your mother needs to walk your dogs as well as her own. Keep talking.

Thanks...BP

Had PND after DD2, took me ages to work out what was wrong (and DH is a psychiatric nurse) he was completely in denial! Took a few weeks for prozac to kick in, they really helped me cope, i stayed on them for about 3 years cos they helped also with PMT. Have been off them for a couple of years. They probably saved my marriage,as i was on self destruct, and felt very isolated.
Thankfully it all seem a blur now. Dont forget to talk to other about it, too many mums suffer in silence. All the best.

Thanks for all of your messages...told DH today...has come home and gone to his guitar lesson as normal...is it me??? or is that just a little insensitive?!

Hi corrin..are you me?
Eldest of four always in control, had a baby, much much longed for and wanted, planned to the last min of arrival....then bam pnd.
I wasnt as sensible as you and didnt go to GP till my son was about 2 and a half.
Came away feeling EXACTLY as you describe...a failure, stupid for resorting to pills, not the kind of person to ever take/need pills etc etc.
Well here i am 12 months down the line a different person. the person that i should be for my child and husband.
I was bad and its only now that i realise just how bad.
Give them a go, get them stabalizers on your bike and get back on the saddle girl, do it you wont regret it.
xxxx

Thanks Donbean....its great to know I'm doing the right thing...god knows how I'm going to tell my parents...not sure I am (Dad a GP...!!!)

Hi Corrin, how are you?

Dont tell him. I have only told a very small select group of people, no one needs to know.

I agree. Some people can be strange about depression. I dont even tell my dh when I am taking medication. Hope you start to see a difference soon.

Agree, i was very open about having pnd, but found a few people were ignorant of what it all meant.Got the impression that they thought i should be grateful for my baby and should get on with the job. Easier said than done vhen you're feeling like a zombie!

Just wanted to add, that when i was handed the prozac prescription and told that i was depressed, i actually felt strangely empowered, kind of stronger that i now had help, understanding and most of all realised that i was poorly, and not abnormal...and that i would get better.

Hi Alcone and everyone else...been away and am back now...

Thanks for your message...know what you mean about empowerment, felat like a wieght was off my shoulders in a funny kind of way.

Am now a week in to taking medicine and felt woozy for first couple of days, headachy, strange..then have been feeling fine...today am feeling Really tired...

Does anyone know how long it takes to get in to your system/when initial SE wear off?