Yes, it's difficult to change because it feels uncomfortable at first to impose our needs upon others. Whatever made us ignore them in the first place must have been powerful.
In my case it was an alcoholic mother. If I went to her with a problem from school, say, she would be angry that I had bothered her with my needs. After all her own needs were much greater and more important and I should be worrying about those. I quickly learned that my needs did not matter and that the needs of others were paramount. Also that it was my job to look after the other person's needs.
Over the years I got used to never expressing my needs and desires, I got so good at it that I hardly acknowledged them to myself. Conversely, I gravitated towards relationships with people who had enormous needs and ignored mine. This was what I equated with love. I felt I had no value unless I could attend to another person's needs while sacrificing my own (which by now were completely repressed).
Only psychotherapy helped me to understand this damaging pattern and it was not an easy or quick cure. I began by deliberately mentioning my difficult childhood to one or two friends. I was very surprised that they didn't know about it. I'd always felt as though I'd talked freely about it, assumed they knew what I'd been through. They knew nothing of it because of my expert ignoring of my own needs, I'd even fooled myself.
I was also surprised and pleased that having confided these things I received similar confidences in return from friends. Far from alienating them by confessing my neediness, I found it put us on a level footing, and made the friendships closer and more beneficial.
It feels unnatural and selfish at first but you have to plod on. Once you have learned to recognise your needs, others will, and you will learn how to identify damaging relationships in your life where people suck you dry and do nothing to build you. In turn this leads to healthier choices and a happier life.