OK <deep breath> tell me about anti depressants

[Tzibeleh]

I've been fighting depression for years. Ive had various forms of talking therapies (most of which have helped, but the effect has not lasted). I've self-medicated with chocolate (doesn't help) and kava (helps acute episodes but not long-term), but have always refused ADs.

Quite frankly, I'm afraid of ADs.

But I'm getting to the end of my tether.

I feared them destroying my libido. Well, I have no effing libido any more.

I feared addiction. What the hell does it matter any more, as I'm addicted to food, anyway.

I feared they might cause me to self-harm. In self-harming with food anyway...it's just a slower form.

I feared turning into a dulled zombie. My distress turns me into a zombie already.

The only fear left is the fear of ADs making me fat. Fatter.

And the fear that they won't help, but I might not be able to come off them.

Please help me think this through.

Tzibeleh perhaps just go and discuss ads and your concerns? Take the pressure off entirely. remember you have choices and are in control. you only take them if you and dr feel they would be a good choice for you.

One of the things I stop doing when I'm down is exercising and taking care of myself (sugar,carbs,more sugar....) As I'm getting better I'm beginning to work towards running and swimming again,so what i'm trying to say in a muddled kind of way is that ads can help you lose weight because you'll have the ability to exercise again. Find the motivation.

Anyhow- good luck : )

I have

I've come up from the bad phase I was in when I started this thread. The palpitations have stopped, the anxiety attacks have stopped, I can laugh and be cheerful, get things done, I no longer feel like a walking disaster zone. I function.

With this head on, I don't think I need meds. And by the time I see the GP, and he gives me the "over the past two weeks, how have you felt?" questionnaires, my answers will fall in the normal range, anyway. So I don't go. But in a few days' or weeks' time I will have another downswing, feel awful again, though I always hope and persuade myself that the previous one will be the last.

And so it goes on, up and down, around and around.

That was me for years. Round and round. I am now on Citalopram and having CBT to help me tackle the anxiety. Then I'll come off the ADs and use the new thoughts and skills to tackle it.
It's worth going anyway and saying it comes in waves. A low dose would steady you off.

The website
Www.getselfhelp.co.uk

Has excellent tools to help too.

Tzib I am in exactly the same situation as you right now, and wrong an essay a long post about it the other day on the perimenopause thread here.

In fact reading your posts it could almost have been me writing them! Except that you are already on HRT and I am not, but hopefully I will be soon, and with a bit of luck it will be the right thing for me.

I have the same fear that ADs will cause more weight gain, and I wonder if I'll be taken seriously about that. I suppose it all depends on the levels of your anxiety/depression. If it's very, very bad then the GP will see that as more of a pressing issue than your weight. I think it's really important to make sure you communicate with him beyond the standard questionnaire answers, and explain that just because you ticked box B or whatever, it doesn't tell the whole story. Go prepared with a script of what you need him to hear so you don't get sidetracked or railroaded.

I've done it. I've talked to the GP. I'm picking up a scrip for citalopram at lunchtime.

So why am I sitting here shaking and in tears?

Tzib, want a buddy?
I've spoken to my GP to put me back on ADs again this morning. Am tearful but relieved as I've had my head in the sand since the summer. I've been off them for 2 years.
So you're not alone and I'm about if you need a hand to hold.

Well done Tzibeleh and Baffled. That's the hardest part done. I cried when I had been. A lot. Then it took me three days to take a tablet.

If either of you would like a chat please feel free to PM.

Mine cause sweating which a lot of ad's do. I am addicted as if I forget my tables I start to have withdrawal after about 12 hours.... But who cares? I can.t live my life without these tablets. They make me get up in the morning, look after my daughter and go to work without crying all the time!

MrsP thank you. I'm already feeling slightly better now I have them in the house ready to go tomorrow.
Emma yes the crying on people as soon as they engage with you is darned awkward!

Joining because I've started sertraline last week for pmt related stuff. Am feeling quite nauseous and spacey (but am also knackered) but hope it will pass. Keep saying to DH that maybe I shouldn't take them and he says to carry on as am currently in the fine bit of my cycle, but the rubbish bit is really rubbish.

Stick with them. They'll take about four weeks to reach full effect. My spacey feeling passed after about ten days.

I'm almost 6 weeks into Citalopram and wondering why I don't feel better :(

Not sure how much longer to give it...

Thank you all so very much for your support. I took the first tablet today.

I probably won't come back to this thread for a while, but do not want you to think me rude and ungrateful. It's just that people have started to talk about side-effects and I cannot cope with that right now. I've asked dh to read the patient info leaflet and only tell me what I really need to know.

I hope I'll be able to come back in a few weeks with positive things to report.

Meanwhile, thanks again, and I hope things work out well for all of you.

Wandering it might be the dose is too low or that you need to try a different one. Can you talk to your GP?

Take care Tzibeleh.

Thanks MrsPepper, that's reassuring. DH a bit freaked out and this is all new territory for him so not that much RL support.

LaQueen, I had read that, yes. So would it be for week before period and week of period? That's when I get v low and agitated. And doesn't that mean you have withdrawal and have to go through these first two weeks again and again? Ugh.

Tzibeleh, I'm sorry, have hijacked your thread and put you off. Good luck with it and hope they help.

Last please feel free to pm for a chat if you need to

Tzib no worries (but if you are reading I'm ok on day 2)

Having been down this route before I feel better for having admitted I'm struggling and knowing things will get better for Xmas.

Good luck. I think there is a proper buddies thread somewhere in MH.