Can't do this anymore

[SausageDaRoll]

I don't know where to turn......I can't cope. I hate life and I don't want to be here anymore. The only thing that stops me from killing myself is the fact that my dad died when I was the same age as my son and I couldn't put them through that. Which makes me feel even more trapped.
I came out of work tonight and sat in the car for 20 mins imaging all the horrible things I could do to myself......then I remembered that I have too many things to do and if something happens to me its a whole lot of burden for everyone else. So I plodded on home and got the kids from my mum and pretended everything is ok.

Plenty of people wiser than me will be along soon mumsnet is the best place for support but I'm here if you want to talk.

It just feels like life requires a lot of effort and gives jack shit back.

I never invisaged it to be like this and I can't see a way oit to make it better

Life can be completely overwhelming at times, you are a hundred percent not alone in feeling like that.
How old are your children? Does anyone know how you feel, keeping the brave gave on can be exhausting.

They are 6 and 7.i have given hints but no one ever trys to go any deeper so I say no more.

I have the worst job.....I love it but the management don't give a shit. They're all about covering their own backs. I work so hard and got in a massive amount of trouble today. I can't give my job up we need the money but working full time/there is killing me

I'm pretty sure if you went to your Gp and told him this he would sign you off long term sick until you felt ready to face it again, would this be an option? Give you time to catch your breath.