At the end of my tether

[DannyOD]

I believe I am suffering from GAD. I suffered from Post Natal Depression after the birth of my second child, and although I managed to get back to a level of being able to function day to day, I don't believe I have ever truly got back to 'normal'.

I need to have a job so that I can help provide for the family, but although I have had a number of different part time jobs I cannot hold them down because my anxiety over takes me. I have now set up an ebay business from home, but weirdly although meeting and interacting with people stresses me out, I now feel really isolated.

Every day seems to present a new reason for me to feel anxious and tense. I am constantly on edge, with a churny stomach and tense muscles. It is so exhausting and I am tearful all the time. I have tried therapy on a number of occasions but it hasn't helped.

I feel I have been backed into a corner and there is nowhere to go. I don't even know why I am putting this on here but I thought that maybe putting it all down into words might help. Thank you for reading this far.

So sorry you are feeling so shite - I suffer from intermittent depression and anxiety and know the torment. You don't say if you are on any meds - if not, I think you definitely should see a sympathetic GP and get some help and support. It sounds to me like you are depressed too as you mention being "tearful all the time" - did you take meds when you had PND - if so did they have a good effect - did you maybe come off them too early.

I know meds aren't the answer to everything but they're certainly worth a try as many MNs on these threads find them beneficial. Do you have a DH/DP and if so is he sympathetic to your plight. Do you have any RL support?

Presumably you are bringing up young children too, and I think this must be really difficult for you young mothers. I am a grandmother so don't have child care responsibilities but on my bad days I can't cope with 2 cats!!

I think mental illness is so much worse than physical illness, not least because people just don't understand it and there is still a stigma attached to it, even in this day and age. But as you probably know 1 in 4 people will suffer from a mental illness at some point in their lives and approx. one third of GP consultations are MH related. SO please see your GP and write down your symptoms in a list so you don't forget anything. Most people actually burst into tears when they see the GP and again this is something that GPs are very used to seeing, so don't worry about that.

I agree with NanaNina, see you gp. I know from experience just how anxiety inducing even the thought of talking to a doctor about this is, but it was the best thing I ever did for myself. Write down what you want the doctor to know and give it to him/her to read, that removes some of the stress from the situation.

Thanks for your replies, I must point out that I am not a young mum. I am 45 and my children are 17, 14 and 10. So, I have been living this way for 14 years to lesser or greater degree. I was on antidepressants before for a year and I had an absolutely awful time coming off them so I really want to avoid medication if at all possible. I went to see my GP a while ago about this but he wasn't very sympathetic. His actual advice was that I should go for a run!! This is why I feel there is nowhere to turn, no-one who understands or will take it seriously. My dh is very understanding but thinks I am just accepting the way I am and that I need to do something to help myself - meditation for example. Everything seems like such a huge effort.