Can't/Don't want to go on

[obviouslyneedsupernanny]

I don't even know where to begin. I don't even think I am depressed as to me that would mean pills etc may help but it is my situation, it doesn't matter what sort of outlook I have, my life is actually pointless.

I am a single parent to one DS who I love with all my heart and I know for a fact that without him I would have ended this a long time ago.

I haven't worked since he was born (he has just started school), I have put so much effort into finding work but find asolutely nothing, not even the most menial jobs am I fit for it seems. This means I am on housing benefit and it is impossible to find a landlord who will rent to us so we have been stuck in a tiny one bedroom since he was born, it is full damp and mould, it's just falling apart but the landlord isn't helpful.

I have absolutely no friends, no family around to support me. I try to make friends, I try and talk to mums at school, join Facebook groups to meet local mums but I feel I don't fit in with anyone else, no on really likes me or could care less if they ever heard from me again. I just feel like a burden.

These feelings have all come to the surface recently as I met someone who I thought was lovely, for the first time since DS I really thought maybe things will change now. We were seeing eachother for 3 months which is not long I know, but he had actually been cheating on me throughout the time we knew each other and I feel distraught.

I deal with all this by drinking to excess, like a ridiculous amount. It barely affects me. Every night I go to bed and promise myself tomorrow I will get up and just try to be normal, be like every other woman and just be happy, do lovely things with my son, find a job, not drink but it just doesn't happen. The thought of a whole day ahead of me filled with nothing is actually so scary to me. I feel so sorry for my little boy he deserves a proper family, normal mother who will give him a great childhood.

Sorry this is so long and I doubt anyone can advise or help me but I just needed to type this someone in the hope that someone has any words to help me.

sorry for your situation obviouslyneedsupernanny :(.
about where you live can you contact environmental health agency. they can assess it and if it found hazardous you can apply your local council for housing.
being a single mum is the hardest job in the world, you have to be proud of yourself that you are managing an I believe you will do better because you are trying your hardest.
do you have family around? is there a lone parent group in your area. you can contact them and get some help there.
if you cant find a job, could you do voluntary work? it can keep you in a routine and can open the prospect of getting a paid job.
if you cant find the will to do anything then maybe you are depressed and you can talk to your gp and go from there.
your child is the best thing in the world and he/she will keep you on a good path.
don't worry if you don't have friends, many lone parents feel the same, maybe you can meet people at a voluntary work.
best wishes and have a lovely day .

you can put your thread at lone parent section as well, you will see there many people having similar problems.