I feel like I'm going insane

[Cara16]

For the last two years my life has been hell and has just got worse I'm in my last year of school and two weeks ago I was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome. Lately I haven't been able to cope with anything I feel mentally unstable my heads all over the place one minute I'm fine the next I'm crying my eyes out for silly reasons then screaming smashing things up scratching myself just taking my angure out on anything or anyone and all over nothing, then I'm fine laughing, smiling just a completely diffrent person. I have good and bad day a bad day I won't wake up until around 5/6 in the afternoon sometimes later then I'll stay in bed and not want to talk to anyone or get up, I'll just lay in the dark overthink about everything and cry, I kinda feel depressed. me and mum barely speak anymore just argue, I've turned into a vile person she can't even say one word towards me without me screaming at her and the things I say I would never of thought id say to anyone, me and my boyfriend are barely hanging on, he's my first boyfriend we've been together 6 months but he can't deal with how I am anymore and I don't really blame him all I ever do is cause arguments, I know I'm getting worse becuase I never show my emotions infront of anyone and I've been having panic attacks and just breaking down crying my eyes out infront of him and friends, I constantly feel drained and never feel refreshed from sleep just more tired, I've been thinking recently and I can't see a future for me I really can't, if I'm 16 and can't cope with everything then how am I going to in 5 years if I'm thinking about suicide now What am I going to so when I'm 21 and have bills and have to go to work to survive? When my school attendance is 30% and I'm not going to pass any of my exams, i don't feel like I'm ever going to get better?? I'm just throwing my life away and I can't stop it

You poor thing. Well done for posting. You are not alone. You will get through this but you need some help. Go to the gp and be really really honest. Cry! There are things to be done that can help you... It will get better even though it feels hopeless now.
I had chronic fatigue syndrome and list my boyfriend through it.. I was so heartbroken but you know what, I met someone else better, more supportive and we are much happier than I ever was with the other guy.
Can you sit down with your mum and explain you need help and how bad you are feeling? She is probably feeling a bit helpless and doesn't know what to do to help you.

Oh Cara so sorry you are feeling so crap and it's small wonder as CFS is a "pain in the arse" - and yes unfortunately it does make you feel depressed when you can't live your life as you should be able to - my niece had this when she was 16 but she got better in a couple of years and so long as she doesn't overdo things, she's fine and holds down a good job and has just got engaged. You need to try not to "fast forward" the tape and worry about stuff in the future........you've got enough on your plate dealing with the present. You seem to be blaming yourself for your illness and this isn't your fault - CFS can strike anyone at any time, but sadly seems to affect young people of your age. You will recover in time and there will be brighter times ahead but you must stop blaming yourself for your illness.

I suggest you look on YoungMinds website as there's a lot of stuff on there you might find interesting and helpful.

It's so hard because i really do want to just be honest and let everything out just tell people how I really feel how low and worthless it makes you feel, just everything but when it comes to actually talking to someone I start to freeze up and panic my mind goes blank and I never end up actually talk to anyone about it. People at school even some teachers act as if they don't believe me I've had a teacher tell me that it's all in my head, that I'm doing it for 'attention' and how it's pathetic I don't come in school because I'm tired, but I'm not just tired I'm exhausted, drained and so fed up of everything no one understands how hard living with this actually is. I am trying so hard to get better, I start CAMHS and physiotherapy soon so hopefully that will help. just talking to someone like this has help so thank you:)

That teacher is pathetic and should be ashamed of themselves.
I can't imagine how hard school is for you. Good luck with your recovery. xx