Is there any hope?

[Dunnyjo]

It been the most horrific year for me this year (ob) apart from having my baby 4 months ago. My mum passed away suddenly in Jan and although some days are so awful with grieving i have become worse, non stop crying, never enjoying anything anymore. Feelings of wanting to die etc. I have been seeing a councillor for a couple of months, weekly and i have made my self go to college that i started 3 weeks ago. However last night at college i could not bring myself to join in conversations finding my self laughing just to make a noise so no one would think i am extreamly weird! Broke down last night and told dh how i have been feeling.
Went to the doctors this morning and she has given me fluoxetine (sp?) and see how i go for a couple of weeks,
But i am wondering is there any hope in the end of all of this? I want to be happy and enjoy my two boys, its very obvious that they will pick on how i am feeling and i am worried i will make my son (2yrs) feel this horrid cloud that is over me.

Sorry if this sounds all over the place i am just typing my feelings out looking for a bit of hope and answers to all of this.

Dunny there IS hope.. lots of it.. "this too shall pass.." I promise. You will be ok.

Sorry for brief reply.. just wanted to send you a hug and say things WILL get better!

Oh you poor love.. what you're trying to cope with at the mo is horrendous.

I too lost my fab mum last year (she was only 55 and my best friend).

It will feel all consuming at the mo but all you can do is take things step by step and taking something to help you cope, I think, is a good start.

I have realised that everyone grieves differently so I would also suggest you seek bereavment counselling. I was lucky enough to know someone who was a counsellor and it was comforting to know that the way I was greiving was common and there really isn't a right or wrong way.

Do people at college know about all this? I made a point of telling people like the headmistress at school what had happened so if my kids were upset they knew why.

The pain does ease over time. Now even though its only a year I smile when I think of her and think of all the great times we had.

Good luck Dunnyjo..will be thinking of you

of course there is hope. Things will get better.

But you are dealing with grief all tied up with a new baby (and starting college).

Can positive thinking about your mum help - eg the last thing she would have wanted was her not being there, and that blighting your newborn stage with your baby.

is that drug and anti-depressant ? If so - then that should help you get to a more positive place.

Sounds like you've turned the corner though by seeking help and hopefully things will get better for you soon. The fluoxetine will take a couple of weeks to work so don't give up on it. Take it a day at a time.