Feeling very anxious

[lillylop]

Feeling low today, really anxious, don't know which voice to listen to, just don't trust my instincts anymore. Keep thinking ive got lung cancer or is it just a pulled muscle? Also got a lump in my knee read somewhere this could be ain connection with lung cancer. Not worried myself about dying but don't want to leave my girls without a mum. Feel like I'm losing it a bit, just don't know what to believe. Got an appointment with therapist this week but it's just making me more anxious, not sure I can talk face to face about this, feel such an idiot. Tried to get in a docs but no appointments, got to phone back, do I talk to them about cancer or that I'm a total ball of anxiety.. Just don't know where to turn or what to do

When you are anxious like you are every problem or fanciful idea gets blown out of proportion. Have you ever got yourself into a state before? I suspect you have.
Do you remember anything about what happened then ? Probably nothing happened because it is your mind controlling your body.
Yes you need meds to control your anxiety but it is very unlikely that you have Cancer as it is unusual in a young person.
Sit in a chair and close your eyes and say to yourself over and over again for at least 3 mins, ' I am breathing in, I am breathing out ' as you do it. You will soon see how difficult it it is for you to relax. Thoughts will keep popping up into your head, even when you don't want them to, because that is what thoughts do.
You are making yourself ill and you are the only person who can control the negative thoughts that are affecting you.
Getting out and walking will help. If you can run or swim they will help. Sitting alone and thinking will not help you relax. You are depressed and unless you recognise it and help yourself the only thing that a Dr can do is offer counselling which has a very long waiting list, drugs, or a mindfulness course. Our minds are powerful things and can destroy us. I know it is hard but try and think of nice things that have happened to you. How lovely your children are etc.
I hope you get appointment soon but you can down load the mindful meditation tapes from the web and try and do them yourself.
My heart goes out to you as I have been there. Xxx

Thanks holeinmyheart, managed to get to docs and given me citalopram and cbt course. Have to say the tablets are making me feel a bit odd alreadywhich is adding to anxiety at moment, feel a bit spaced out

Well you have to take the meds as directed otherwise your anxiety gets out of control. It is like a black dog that sits with you.
If only you can get rid of depression yourself but I couldn't. However it is ten years since the last bout and I recognise that I am a depressive and can't afford to get too low without seeking help.
I liked Citalopram and yes it does make you feel spaced out initially. But keep going with it. Being spaced out is preferable to feeling suicidal.
We have depression in our family. It is such a pain as some of my DC s have inherited it as well. That was the most painful thing for me to see as I love them so much. I had a crap childhood but my DCs did not.
Chin up. You will know why you are depressed no doubt. I hope the reason passes and you regain some control of your life. Xxx