I'm not well and I haven't been for about 2 months. I'm back under the care of my psychiatrist but they don't seem to be helping much. In the last week my mood has crashed (I'm bipolar) and I've been feeling suicidal. I am feeling really, really bad right now and I'm a single mum with 3 children, one of whom is also very poorly right now and my mum is having to look after her to help me. My mum is not coping very well with looking after my daughter and she keeps coming round to my house and shouting at me which is making me feel worse.
I can't organise anything, I am late for everything and I just feel that everything is falling apart. The doctor will not give me sertraline, which is what I used to have when depressed because of worries about triggering mania. But I need some - before they used to just balance them with a mood stabiliser and I don't see why they can't so the same again.
I just don't know what to do and nobody is listening. They are saying I have to wait until the end of November to see my psychiatrist to have my medication reviewed.
Before this I've had 4 years off meds and I am just so frustrated that I am I'll again. My mum says that if I end up in hospital again like I did years ago, she will refuse to look after the children and they will have to go into care. So that is making me feel even worse.