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Imagining horrible/scary things at night... Anxiety/phobia?

10 replies

Flingmoo · 31/10/2014 11:03

Long post, sorry. Basically I never grew out of your usual childhood fear of spooky things at night. I know it's very common for adults to feel spooked in a dark house but for me it's preventing me from enjoying certain things in life.

I don't see anything scary but I imagine it. Sometimes the thoughts are very intrusive and unwelcome and I try to push it out of my mind, horror movie style scenes - for example (apologies if this is disturbing) walking into my bathroom and imaging that there a bloody scene with someone hanging over the bath. These fears are much worse in old houses. In my last flat which was an old converted terrace, I even had it in the daytime (only if I was home alone) which meant I had to get out of the house wherever possible to avoid the fear. I went to the GP and was put on a year-long waiting list for CBT, which I never recieved in the end as I eventually moved to a newer property, mainly due to the fear.

Now I live in a new build house, again I chose a new build specifically due to my problem, and now the issue hardly affects me anymore. However, I feel that it's starting to happen a little at night again, e.g. I'll imagine someone grabbing my foot as I step out of bed, it's a pain because I have to get up in the night to feed my baby! I also have he opportunity to go and stay with some relatives abroad in a couple of months time, while my DH is away on business, and I've realised I cant go because these relatives live in old houses and I won't be able to sleep at night on my own without DH. Even when he's with me in these places I have to get him to come to the toilet with me at night.

What is wrong with me... I still dont know, and I don't know if anyone else out there has this issue? It's sort of anxiety, but not social anxiety. Or is it a phobia? Of the dark? Being alone? Anybody got advice on how to deal with this sort of thing?

OP posts:
windchimes23 · 31/10/2014 11:31

It definitely sounds like a phobia, a good CBT therapist would probably be able to help you with some coping strategies. You shouldn't have to suffer like this, it sounds as though it's severely interfering in your life.

I was extremely scared of flying, but have managed to conquer it. I would see this as the same type of anxiety/phobia type thing. You know it's actually ok but you just can't control the negative racing thoughts.

However I didn't have to fly on a daily basis, so it was not something that effected my every day life. This is effecting you every day so it is serious, could you go back to you GP and explain everything. It does sound as though you would benefit from some therapy for this. Could you afford to go private?

Hugs, it sounds distressing for you x

workingtitle · 31/10/2014 11:38

Someone will come along with better advice soon... This was a crippling problem for me up until my mid 20s. It was part of an anxiety disorder, and only got better through therapy and in my case medication.

I would really encourage you to speak with your GP. A lot of counselling services are much more accessible now (e.g I can self refer with a two week waiting list) and they'll be able to work out, with you, what the best approach is.
But it is a problem and my guess is it won't to away on it's own. Well done for posting about it

workingtitle · 31/10/2014 12:53

Sorry, ItIsntReallyReal - cross posted! There's your better advice, mamushka

KarlyT · 08/04/2021 23:06

I have no idea if you'll see this, but this is something I could have honestly written my self! Did you ever get any help for it?

lucialostinspace · 17/10/2021 05:50

hey i know it's only been a few months since you wrote that, but i was wondering if you still dealt with these thoughts. i have them too...it seems like they've only gotten worse over time. anyway i just wanted to ask and say hello

CrazyDiamond30 · 10/11/2021 22:49

I've just written a post with similar issue. It's debilitating. Did you get any help??

CrazyDiamond30 · 06/04/2022 20:31

@KarlyT & @lucialostinspace

Sorry I didn't see this till today!

I did go to hypnotherapy - once. I don't think she was the person for me 😂 but I don't know, some of this post actually really helped me. I have learned that the fears really are from something else - not sure if you guys feel the same, but do you notice that when you're feeling low/vulnerable it's WAY worse? Maybe not even there when you are really happy? That's how it was for me after I really started to think about it. I still avoid things or feel that instant nervous feeling but it's not as bad. Plus I keep telling myself "I've never even seen anything so why will I now?"

I broke up with my husband a couple of months ago too so I think it's shown me I can do it on my own and not be scared alone. Hope you're both okay! 🤍

Codeconverse · 06/04/2022 20:32

Definitely sounds like a form of intrusive thoughts/OCD. Mention it to your dr!

CrazyDiamond30 · 06/04/2022 20:32

Just realised I wasn't posting on my own post 😂😂😂😂

muppamup · 07/04/2022 21:04

check out this guy's sleep hypnosis

www.youtube.com/channel/UC9GoqHypa-SDrGPMyeBkjKw

it gets me to sleep in minutes, his voice is the most chilled. he has specific anxiety ones, but most are really good.
Works wonders!!!

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