Please or to access all these features

Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Hate being so up and down

6 replies

Feelinglostandalone · 29/10/2014 23:43

I'm so up and down, have been for ages tbh. A few weeks ago I went through one of my really bad periods - one minute my fiancé and I were taking a nice walk in the park, next minute we were arguing over how he never mentions our wedding despite the fact there's nothing to sort out atm. It was a really stupid argument and completely spiralled out of control, I ended up storming off and working myself up into such a state that I felt like I'd be better off not being here and just wanted to top myself. But then I calmed down just a few hrs later and it was as if the whole argument and suicidal mood hadn't happened. This happens quite often, though not quite to the same extreme. Last night we had an argument again for a stupid reason and I worked myself up into a suicidal state again, though not as bad as a few weeks ago. Thing is, I know it's mostly my fault with the arguments, not DP's. I just flip for such small reasons and can't control my anger, it's terrifying.

It's like one minute I love him to bits and can't wait until our wedding next year, next minute I couldn't care less and just want him to go. Part of me thinks I'm scared of losing him so it'd be easier if I pushed him away, but at same time I don't want him to go. Gah, that probably makes no sense.

I'm up and down in general too. One minute I love my job, next minute I think what the heck am I doing, I just want out even though I worked damn hard to get here and got through some really tough times to make it to a position I've wanted to be in for such a long time.

There are other things too but my head is like mush at the moment and I can't think. I don't know what I want anyone to say, I don't suppose there is anything people can say, I just need to talk about things and don't feel like I can talk to people in real life. Been to docs and he put me on sertraline but tbh I don't think I'm just depressed.

OP posts:
Feelinglostandalone · 29/10/2014 23:48

Also I feel like such a shit stepmum. I love my DSS to bits and would never show him how shit I feel, but sometimes I just want to run away and never come back. Especially when he's having a huge tantrum, I know he's only four and he's genuinely a lovely little boy most of the time, when he is having a tantrum he's just being a typical four year old but sometimes I just can't handle it. I feel like him and his Dad would be much better off without me being in their lives and I'm just being a selfish bitch by staying.

OP posts:
JulyKit · 29/10/2014 23:54

Keep saying what you need to say, Feeling.

You say that you think there's more to what's going on than just depression. Have you been able to talk about that with anyone in RL?

Hueycool · 29/10/2014 23:55

Hi Feeling, can I just say despite your ups and downs you sound really lovely. It's a relatively rare thing on these boards to hear someone sound so considerate of step children.I've totally got my own stuff going on but you really do come across as someone that I would respect. I wonder what your background is? I can't help feeling you give yourself a really hard time? Is your partner very tolerant and kind to you? I would be interested to hear what your answers are?

Hueycool · 29/10/2014 23:56

I meant to say you sound very far away from being a bitch.

Cat2014 · 29/10/2014 23:58

Ohh you could be me! (Apart from the step kids). I will reply more tomorrow if I can but just wanted you to know you're not alone with these feelings and reactions to arguments.

Feelinglostandalone · 30/10/2014 12:31

July maybe it is just depression, I don't know. I just feel like it's not normal to one minute love someone so much then the next be really angry at them for very little reason and want them to leave. My vicar knows some of what's going / gone on and has been really kind in helping me find (another) counsellor, but I've yet to get in touch with her. I know I should but I just keep putting it off for some reason.

Huey thank you, that's really kind. Not sure what to say about my background really as I struggle to understand the past. I've been in and out of counselling for it for years, both during my university years through their counselling service as well as privately. My one counsellor said that my first boyfriend who I was with through most of my teenage years was abusive, but I struggle to see it that way even though what happened has had a huge effect on my life.

DP is far more tolerant and kind about it all than I'd expect him to be. I don't think I'd respond as kindly to him if he said some of the things to me that I say to him. I feel like a bitch after I've said them but point is I still say them and it really hurts him.

Cat thank you, I'm sorry you feel this way sometimes too, but it does help to know I'm not alone.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page