Advice - how do you get through the worst days?

[Jenny2014]

I'm not finding life very easy at the moment, there is a little too much going on and I feel out of control. As a result I'm loosing perspective of the bigger picture, and have spent the majority of today crying / having panic attacks because unlike most days I haven't been able to pull myself out of it.

I'll rant / explain why below... But what helps you through your difficult days?

I'm not on meds, and have never spoke to a GP/HV because I think in the main what I feel is normal peaks and troughs. Today however it feels like I have a huge weight over me.

I have the most amazing 8m old dd, and have just gone back to work. But work isn't what it used to be, so now I'm working on my evenings/weekends to get a new job. I can't quit without having something else to go to for financial reasons, but I'm not sure what I want to do for a living anymore. Coupled with the fact that my dd is teething, we've had some sleepless nights, which leads to arguments with my DH because we're too tired / busy to communicate properly. My parents are in the process of separating which hasn't been easy, and my FIL has been in and out of hospital which of course adds strain.

Today I went for a hike for a few hours with my dd in the pram, normally the fresh air and nice views would be enough to pull me out of my slump, but it wasn't. The second she was out of the house with my DH I broke down.

Please teach me how you find your focus the negativity takes over.

You've got a heck of a lot going on there. Return to work, baby, family stress, work problems and broken sleep. You must be utterly exhausted and no one feels great when they're tired and wrung out.

I suppose the best advice I can offer is for you to work with your DH to share the broken sleep, maybe one of you have a lie in on sat and the other on sun so you can recharge your batteries a bit. Trying to shoe-horn more activities in when you're already exhausted may cause more stress, but getting out for a walk like you've been doing is certainly helpful.

What you need, is what is most hard to come by, which is sleep, time and space to deal with everything going on. It's bloody hard work being a working parent, I know.

Thanks for your response. I know that with time things will be easier. It certainly feels better just putting pen to paper so to speak.

I don't want to sit and cry, that achieves nothing but there is little I can do. But how do you pick yourself up and pull yourself together, so that when your alone the darkness doesn't become darker?

I find it incredibly hard to do it personally. I remember crying every night when I got home from work after first going back, but like you I had no choice but to go back for financial reasons. I didn't have the rest of the crap you've got going on. Is there anyway you can put the evening and weekend work on hold for a bit. It's not going to be brilliant if it's having an effect on your health and if you push it it may reach the point where you can't do anything at all.

I can't stress how much sleep helps. Lack of sleep has a huge impact. Also, why not have a good cry? You're stressed, trying to push down how you're feeling just means it's waiting to spring up again. Talking helps too and I'm happy to listen while you vent.

This coming weekend sack off the house work and sack off doing anything that isn't sleep, playing with your DD and getting out of the house for a walk. You need to recharge your batteries before they drain completely.