Hi there. I've posted before on the relationships thread about problems with my relationship with DH. We have two DCs, and I realised in the summer that things were not right. We've tried to work on it and he tells me he loves me but I don't feel like that's really true any more and he seems to be unable or unwilling to give me the emotional support I need. I have to think about what to do about that.
I feel like I over extend myself emotionally to him, only to be knocked back. I talked to him this week about how we get into a cycle of him withdrawing more and more and my being more and more needy and how I was going to try to change how I was in that way. 'Good' he said. There is rarely any movement on his side. Anyway, long preamble, sorry. When I was younger I had a period of several years when I self harmed and was told I had depression and anxiety. I thought this was a localised thing, but those feelings have come back over the summer as we've been having these conversations (and since my hormones have returned to normal). I've been walking miles at any opportunity, which I love, but now I do it even when I'm very tired, it seems necessary. This morning I remembered that I did this during that bad period when I was younger too. I've had several fairly conversations with people lately about that time (not DH, he is pretty scornful of mental health problems) and I think this has also started to make me feel a bit out of control.
What can I do? I feel quite trapped and some days I'm fine, but some days I really feel like I'm only just managing, and I'm quite disorientated. I don't know what to do. Thank you.