Had problems with anxiety as long as I can remember and I am FED UP with it

[sleeplessbunny]

I have had anxious feelings my whole life, it took me until my late 20s to realise that this isn't normal. If anything it has got slightly better since I have children but I have learnt to recognise it better and now it just really pisses me off that I get these feelings and they limit what I do. I believe it is fairly low-level i.e. I don't have panic attacks but I do use up an awful lot of time and emotional energy worrying about stuff. It is definitely holding me back at work, I get wound up if I have to hold a meeting or present even when my rational brain knows I am more than capable. I'm sure it affects my behaviour. I worry about what people think of me when I know I shouldn't care. I get stressed and upset if the car breaks down. I constantly have the butterflies in the stomach feeling and it is quite wearing.

Part of me feels like a fraud complaining about this as it is not particularly severe but I am totally fed up of feeling like this. How can I stop it???

Hi

Sorry to hear your struggling with this. I have had bad anxiety for a couple of years now and just started CBT. Ruby Wax wrote a great book called Sane New World which my doctor actually reccomended to me!! it is really good actually and well worth a read.

Thanks mummybean I will look that up.

This is a real long shot as it's supposedly quite rare, but your post caught my attention, so maybe it's worth mentioning to you, just incase.

A lot of what you write resonates with me, I've never really been an anxious person, but have suffered with what I know to be symptoms of anxiety, but like you my rational brain thinks one thing, but my body has other ideas, though I have mostly learnt to override that these days.

My DD also suffers badly with symptoms of anxiety, but is actually a tough little cookie, her body though has other ideas & it's something we are still trying to help her cope with.

Took a lot of years to get there with a diagnosis, but our symptoms are actually down to Ehlers Danlos Hypermobility - of which Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTs) is a symptom, but also a condition in its own right.

This affects the Automatic Nervous System, which also governs the bodies stress response & could cause the problems you describe.

EDS is meant to be quite rare, but it's more likely less rare, but under diagnosed,

I meant to add - your NN suggests insomnia, which is another symptom, but also the key to getting it under control

RockinHippy, thanks for your thoughts. My sleepless nights are more to do with dc than insomnia, given half a chance I can sleep pretty much anywhere
Hypermobility really doesn't sound like me, physically I am very inflexible which is the cause of some embarrassment in yoga & pilates. (Yes, this makes me nervous too. WHY??????)

I'm exactly the same as you OP - high functioning anxiety. It does get me down sometimes too. Every upcoming event now makes me stressed and anxious, packing for a holiday, kids party, even getting stuff ready for school the next day. I have often thought about going to the GP to get medicine for it. Trouble is that I feel this state if heightened awareness and staying up to all hours in a panic getting things done is actually necessary for my lifestyle (3 kids, full time job). I do wonder sometimes if it is just relaxation techniques I need.

I have always been anxious (but hide it well I think), had ocd as a teenager which still flares up now under stress but I have learnt to control it pretty much. I also have a typical aspergers type history and job. Interestingly, I am very flexible and my child has been diagnosed with hypermobility syndrome which I think I have too.

Ultimately though, not sure what the point of pursuing any of these diagnoses is - is it not just modern life and certain personality types? relaxation techniques and coping strategies the way to go?

Theres a lot of point in pursuing these diagnosis forago as I'm only just beginning to find out the reality of, it covers a lot of things you would never guess were linked, very much a joining of the dots exercise for us & then Drs need to know in case surgery or anaesthetic is ever needed as analgesics don't work for EDSers the way they do for others etc.

Getting poor sleep under control helps calm the ANS a LOT, so its less relaxation & coping techniques & more good pain management & pacing to conserve low energy - once you push through exhaustion, you start running on adrenaline & that sends your ANS loopy & in turn causes more insomnia, so kicks of a vicious escalating boom & bust cycle. So its proper rest rather than relaxation & if needed, good pain management to help sleep too.

DD also seems a lot more relaxed about the anxiety & hypersensitivity flare ups now she has some understanding of the mechanics of it, before that, she thought she was weak in some way, which made her even more determined to push through it & make it all worse - so the diagnosis & understanding of it has given her peace of mind too - plus theres other things that help with POTs symptoms, they need a high salt diet & lots to drink for example, plus certain leg exercise can help stem the dizzy/nauseous spells when they hit, which were previously blamed on anxiety - its still a learning curve, but the diagnosis is helping a lot :)

Maybe look into POTs sleepless as it can be a condition in its own right, so you don't need to be hyper mobile - but if it doesn't sound right for you, fair enough, it was just an idea.

Maybe look into EFT - its a therapy for anxiety based on tapping the relevant acupressure points, I know a few people that have had good results with it, DD has found it helpful too

It's not that I want to label it, forago, I just want it to go away. I have tried various relaxation techniques, I do pilates and yoga, I've read self-help books, but with limited success. At least I can now recognise it, but I just can't get rid of it.

ANyway I have just made an appt to see my GP next week. Of course I am now nervous about that and what I am going to say. I have a feeling she'll say much the same as you have, forago.

I think when I was younger I put the feeling down to not knowing stuff, and that when I was all grown up and knowledgeable about the world it would go away. Now I am old (not sure about the knowledgeable) and it hasn't gone away. I don't want to live the rest of my life like this.

What is EFT please rockinhippy?

Emotional Freedom Technique - my friend who had big issues with her family & was an anxious mess dealing with them, saw a trained therapist who taught her the tapping technique & it did make a huge difference to her & how she coped with them. I found YouTube videos for DD though &'this helped, but I would imagine a therapist would be much better if you can find a good one

Eft no good for me. Don't know op, am similar. Tried lots to get rid. Am more aware also but nothing really works. Hard run maybe.

Sleepless I am no expert and didn't mean to sound dismissive, I just think I have got to the stage now (early 40s) where I just push through and get onwith it - that butterfly feeling is just so familiar now (but not enjoyable of course) - and the coping strategies are just so ingrained now eg I always insist on double dose of anaesthetic at the dentist. But you're right though, i don't want my son to go through it if he doesn't have to. Maybe there is a better way.

I also find run I good meant to say.

Running good

A run or similar will burn off excess adrenaline, so will definitely help if the cause is down to autonomic nervous system dysfunction, not sure it would be much help otherwise though ?

Beta blockers.. anxiety is a pain in the arse. I always feel quite cross I have to pop one of those pills from the blister. But it takes all of those feelings in the middle of your stomach and means you can cope with your head.

They're as an when you need them rather than ADs.

OP I have struggled with chronic anxiety for as long as I can remember and it has cast a shadow over my whole life. In the last 2 years I have started on antidepressants (Venlafaxine) which has defused the anxiety and allowed me to just enjoy life without constantly worrying about what may go wrong in future. I have started a new, more responsible job and am loving it without the constant fear of not being able to cope. I know it's not for everyone but the drugs do work for some.

Have you seen your GP? Like you I was anxious for years. I also had a very anxiety-provoking job and I was prescribed beta blockers for quite a long time, which did help but only with the physical symptoms really. I tried lots of things to help myself but it is very difficult.

for various reasons I do not want to take Valium (which I was prescribed) so it was suggested that I take promethazine, which is an antihistamine which has quite a sedating effect but is not addictive. you can buy it OTC as Nytol - you could try taking a quarter or half tablet perhaps and see if it helps? It calmed me down enough to be able to think straight! Not a long term solution but perhaps worth trying short term?

A book that helped me is The Worry Cure. I'm not sure it's a cure but it's a good book! Also mindfulness techniques and affirmation 'I am learning to let go of worry'.

CBT is great as it gives you the tools to cope with worrying thoughts as they appear.

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is possible to change the way we think and deal with stuff. I didn't realise how chronically anxious I was until I started to get better. I functioned really welll, or so I thought! Life is SO much better now and I am kinder to myself .

Dd 18 had suffered severe anxiety and ocd since she was about 5. Recently she went on sertraline and it has made an enormous difference. She is like a different person and able to cope .