I dont know if I'm depressed or just down

[yougotafastcar]

I don't know. I have been sobbing for the past 2 hours, and was like this 2 days ago too. I want to run away and sleep and not wake up again. I dont want to hurt myself but I just want to sleep.

But tomorrow I'll be ok. Down, and lonely because I have no friends or a life. But I wont sob. I have a lovely lovely ds but Im a shitty mum. Lazy and useless. Dont want to play or cant be bothered to cook for him. Dont feel depressed just lazy and tired. Cant be bothered to have a shower and get dressed, go out. I have a appointment tomorrow and dreading it because I cant be bothered to get the bus and everything. Just feels like too much effort. Dont remember the last time i wore make up or did my hair. Too lazy to brush it sometimes!

feel like if i tell anyone they will just think Ia being dramatic. Please help me I dont know what to say. Dp wants to know why Im crying. Just fed up.

Oh thank you all

Got out the house early this morning for our flu jab and the cold fresh air and sun actually helped.

Have had a few teary moments, DS is so desperate to make friends, he saw a couple of kids today and said "hello, hello I'm ds name!" I feel awful that he will be like me with no friends and awful that we need to scrape the money together to send him to nursery.
Plus I was browsing through slimming world before and after photos and DS saw a before pic of a lady about 20 stone and said "thats you mummy, like a beautiful princess" but I still ended up sobbing, now I know how people really see me. I told DP and a friend and neither of them told me I didn't.

Didn't make a doctors appointment just because I felt ok. Now reading this back tonight, I'm only wondering how long before I feel this way again?

raft and mrwillywonka I hope you're both ok. Feel free to write anything this thread if you want, everyone who has replied here is lovely. Thinking of you too x

I always find getting out of the house helps although it can be hard to find the motivation. I need to get a flu jab.

I've been thinking about what you said regarding feeling ok sometimes. I think what you have to ask is yourself is "do I feel ok more often than not?". If the answer is no then you do need to see your doctor.

Glad that you feel like you've had a better day fastcar, it always helps to get out - even if it feels like the worse thing in the world at the time.

I agree with Raft. If you are feeling low more times than you are feeling ok then you really need to see the doctor. I know it's hard but the worst that could happen is that they will do an assessment and give you some time to talk. Even if they decide you don't fall into the category of clinical depression, you are still feeling down and that it's hard to cope at the moment. They are there to listen and work through your problems. Just because you can't see your health problem, doesn't mean they won't care

Or if you can't face the GP at the moment, how about talking to your Midwife at the next check up? Maybe see if you can organise a longer appointment so you don't feel rushed.

No matter what size the model was in the picture, your son saw them through innocent eyes. He saw her and thought she looked beautiful, just like a princess. I think that's a beautiful thing for a son to say about his mummy.

I also think being at home with a toddler can be very depressing. I do believe giving up work and being at home all day with a toddler isnt as fun as they make out and as for bonding I didnt for many many months - perhaps a few years so I wouldnt worry about that. Def being stuck in the house hour after hour becomes a habit and not good for anybodies health.

I always think making a list - when this started, was there a trigger, is there family history of anxiety/depression, are you bored, are you lonely and perhaps make a list of what you'd like to do or what you can do that could perk you up. Usually you can see what the trigger is and perhaps do some self thoughts on how you can try to overcome.

No matter how much anxiety/depression I have suffered I have always hidden it from my children and have been obsessed that they should not get any rebound because I couldnt be bothered. Suppose having a business, husband and two boys cooking has to be done. I have to look smart. Sounds to me you have self confidence issues but these can be changed and you can overcome these if you want to.

Simple as it sounds, if you are feeling a little better, get a few books and do some reading (I know yawn), get some hobby, go swimming, bake a cake with the little one, just try to occupy your mind so you can learn to focus. Def plan something nice and simple for the weekend and get outdoors perhaps to the coast/lake.

Just believe you will get better.