Feel like an idiot but...

[Raftofdeterminationandlove]

I know that isn't rational so I'm going to try and put my thoughts on here. I hope that typing them up will be therapeutic.

I have been doing quite well. It will be a long time before I am completely recovered and I have had a few slip ups but I am definitely on the way. This is a positive thing.

Tonight I feel incredibly depressed. I feel useless. I am due for my period soon. This is probably why. I know it will pass but in the meantime it is awful. Normally it isn't a problem but it is at the moment. I am considering asking the doctor for some medication to stop my periods for a bit. I can't feel like this every month.

I also want to chop all my hair off I'm not going to.

Got that off my chest. Going to stop my ramblings now.

How a person feels about menstruation determines how they experience menstruation - moods can change with hormonal changes but overwhelmingly research shows issues like 'PMS' are about physical manifestations of socio-cultural attitudes to menstruation.

Basically: if you think your period is a bad thing, obviously you're not going to feel all that happy about it when it's due - this is more severe in those who already suffer depression. I've seen women with horrific PMS go to absolutely loving their periods with zero issues of PMS after improving body-literacy and rejecting menstrual taboos, rather than battling against their bodies by suppressing their menstrual cycles.

guardianlv.com/2014/10/women-can-stop-unwanted-menstrual-symptoms
link.springer.com/article/10.1007%2Fs11199-006-9005-3#page-1

??? That's amazing psychobabble.

OP, my mood is directly affected by my cycle. It has sod all to do with me thinking a period is a bad thing. To be frank it's a bloody brilliant thing as it means I'm not up the duff.

There's a few things I've found helps. a) a lower carb diet. I don't know why it just does! b) taking cerazette, which is a mini pill that stopped my periods without the side effects of the combined pill. I don't take that any more though and just rely in diet,

When I'm ill, nothing stops the effect on my mood and I don't generally realise I'm due on until AF arrives and I get. Light bulb moment.

What a load of nonsense!
the only way to stop the pains of menstruation and walk through this life as an empowered woman is to embrace the true you lurking inside.
Because this will stop the vomiting, passing out, cramps, passing clots etc etc. The only way to stop the pains of menstruation is to swallow bucket loads of painkillers.

I'm like you OP. I can't deal with feeling like this but I also can't deal with the idea of losing the four good days (straight after period) a month which I suppose is what would happen if I take a hormonal contraception.

I can relate OP. I get bad pms, pain, irritable mood and also the urge to things I would/do definitely regret (drastic haircuts, terrible clothes purchases, ill-advised emails ). Yet like Keema, I often don't even realise it's pre-menstrual until either my period arrives, or it dawns on me after a few days, or a (very tentative) DP points it out. You'd think I would have worked it out by now, I'm actually approaching the menopause and have been menstruating for 30+ years and it can still creep up on me.

Plus, I'm very feminist, very positive about menstruation, read the Wise Wound as a student, and have a relative who is a menstruation activist! It's not about feeling negative about the whole shebang. It's about chemical effects and they really can be quite severe.

I have also had MH issues – a lot of anxiety problems - and find that PMT can set me back. It's good you have identified it and know you will come out the other side.

It might be worth checking to see if you are anaemic, op. I have similar experiences before periods when I forget to take my iron. Was horrendous this month too.

Hello everyone.

Thank you for all the replies.

I'm sorry I haven't been back. It feels very rude. I've been struggling a bit bit but doing better so will try and post properly later.

I can say that I don't think I'm anaemic. I give blood regularly. I know it might be worth keeping in mind though.

Please disregard the rubbish linked above.

Severe PMS is and can be extremely difficult. After PND, after weaning off meds, I suffered so badly. Suicidal for a week every month.
No amount of mindfulness, therapy, CBT or exercise, vitamins, oils were fixing it.

My gynae gave me oestrogen to use just for the second half of my cycle.
Cured. In one month.

In my case progestogen is an absolute no go. That means cerazette, Mirena, implanon, even the combined pill is dodgy for me.
I took cerazette for 35 days and wanted to throw myself out a window.

You don't have to suffer like this, and antidepressants aren't always the answer. I and anyone else I know who took them still suffered very bad mood dips on them anyway.

Oestrogen has changed my life.