Struggling to look after myself

[qumquat]

I am so much 'weller' than I used to be (history of eating disorders, anxiety and depression), and I know that if I could just look after myself better, things would be so much easier. But every day i fail. I don't shower, I don't cook, I don't clean. I know that doing these things would make me feel better, I know that relaxing with a cup of tea would help and eating a whole cheese would make things worse, but I still eat the cheese. I'm so tired. I have a baby daughter and I'm terrified she'll grow up like me, so I must get better, but I can't. I'm on ads and having counselling after a suicidsl episode when I realised I should have split up with my dp years ago. I can't split up with him unless I can look after myself though so I'm stuck. (He's wonderful, I just don't fancy him. I feel like I've ruined both our lives). So every day we try and fail to have sex as well! Sorry I'm having a low day. Has anyone managed to start looking after themselves? How do you do it? If I could only relax and sleep a bit things would be easier. Sorry and thanks for reading

Could you aim to do one or two things a day, for example wash your hair and get some fresh air, or vacuum and eat a nice breakfast? Start slowly and build it up that way. I'm sorry to hear you're low.

Don't focus on all the different things you have to do. Pick one, e.g. tomorrow I'm going to have a shower at 10:00. Write this down and put the paper next to your bed. Tell DP, a friend, whoever that this is your plan. Set a reminder on your phone. In fact, write down exactly what you are going to do... get out of bed, get clean clothes out of the cupboard and put on the bed, get undressed, get in shower, wash body, wash hair, get out, dry off, get dressed, blowdry hair. I know that sounds silly but when you're in the grip of depression you need to break down each task into its smallest components.

In fact, get someone to call you at 10:00 to encourage you, and call you again at 10:30 to check that you did it. Being accountable to someone else can be very motivating and it's ok to do this in the short term.

The key is small manageable easy tasks.

Build up into a routine and once you mastered I think add something else.

Start with a shower at 10.00 every morning. Soon it will become routine and when you feel like you have mastered that move on to shower then breakfast.

The key is to do it slowly

The key is small manageable easy tasks.

Build up into a routine and once you mastered I think add something else.

Start with a shower at 10.00 every morning. Soon it will become routine and when you feel like you have mastered that move on to shower then breakfast.

The key is to do it slowly