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How can I help my sister in law? Borderline personality and on other side of world

4 replies

ODearMe · 08/10/2014 07:40

Bit of background - DSIL emigrated to another country with her partner who then went on to end the relationship four years later. Instead of coming home for support, (she saw that as being a failure to come back with no partner or child?!) she stayed there a number of years alone. Threatened her ex with suicide and ended up in a mental health clinic where she was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. She had counselling but didn't find it to help. She seemed to have ups and downs for next few years thereafter but we thought she was mainly ok.

She has been torn about the idea of coming home after being abroad for 10 years. And finally, after admitting her loneliness has made the decision to return to UK. She comes back for Xmas and then again for good in February, which is great as she can be supported properly by her family.

I have had a text from her this morning saying she is very unwell with anxiety and depression, and she is not functioning and doesn't recognise herself. She is in a mental health clinic, wants to tell her parents but doesn't want to worry them.

My question is, how do we support her on the other side of the world? What words of comfort shall I give her? Do you think I should sent DH on a plane to help her? I don't know much about BPD so if anyone has any experience, I will be grateful to hear from you. Of course we will be telling her parents, it is too big to keep from them.

Thanks for reading Hmm

OP posts:
koolforcats · 08/10/2014 09:02

Hi, I don't really have any advice but didn't want to read and run. I'm sorry she's going through this so far away. You sound very kind - as the world has become so much smaller with so much technology available you will be able to support her as you have been already. She obviously trusts you as she has told you about the clinic which is good. It's hopefully more reassuring for you to know that she's being looked after by professionals instead of being by herself with this illness. I don't know about bpd either so I hope someone comes along with more advice but I hope things improve for her and when she returns home Thanks

ODearMe · 08/10/2014 09:40

Thank you Koolforcats-you are right about her being in the right place and looked after by people who know best, that is reassuring.

OP posts:
uptodate · 08/10/2014 18:31

Hi, I don't really want to share everything here, but I have BPD so if you want to message me, then feel free to and I'll try to answer any questions you might have.

ODearMe · 08/10/2014 20:48

Thank you uptodate, I have pm'd youSmile

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