Work and my mental health

[swirlycurl]

Would really appreciate some outside perspective.

I had a breakdown earlier this year. I spent a few days in a psychiatric hospital, then many weeks being treated by the crisis team at home.

I had been depressed for about two years previously, but had managed to function day-today throughout this time - held down a full time job as a manager in a university, parented two children, got on with it basically, despite feeling very very low.

I'm feeling a lot better now. I still have quite low energy and some anxiety, but I am definitely recovered from the nervous wreck I was. I now feel ready to go back to work, having not worked in nearly 6 months. I resigned from my old job, so need to find something else.

My dilemma is whether to look for a job at my old level (middle management) or even a level below (a coordinator type role) or whether to go for something much less high pressure? I feel so torn about this, as I feel that on one hand I cannot afford to take on too much and have another breakdown, but in the other hand, in my late 30s now, will taking a more junior role at this stage fuck my career?

I have seen a two day per week role as an administrator in a local school. The idea of part time definitely appeals, but education jobs at my old level are rarely if ever offered as part time or job shares. I keep thinking 'apply for it - this is the sort of role which would give you time to get back into the workplace and a good work/life balance'...but then a voice says 'what are you doing? Why are you letting depression ruin your career'?

Very confused. Any insights? WWYD?

I am in a similar position. My breakdown hit me totally out of the blue. Great job/social life/DH, and I suddenly became an anxious suicidal mess. Spent a month in hospital, with further input from crisis team following discharge for 2 months. I was a full time senior teacher, but I recognised there was no way I could go back to this. (although work stress wasn't actually identified as a trigger for my breakdown, the trigger is unknown) I therefore took a tempory part time job to cover someone on study leave which finish's in January. I work 18 hours a week in a teaching related role, less stress and I love it, and in the year I have been doing it, have had 2 days off sick, which I think is quite good considering how ill I was. Also, I have had very good feedback from my manager, I have deceided this new type of work is what I want to continue to do for the time being. I feel I would like to increase my hours to maybe 30, as we have struggled financially. Also, this job finishes in January, so I do need to look for another job soon. But the only available job coming up is full time, which I genuinely don't think I could cope with. Some days the exhaustion is overwhelming, but I keep going. I am sure this is medication related as I am on heavy duty meds. I worry greatly about how my mental health problem has affected my ability to work, as I loved my old job and was good at it. Maybe one day I will go back to teaching, but not in the foreseeable future. I worry a lot about becoming ill and needing time off, and how my employers would view this. The advice I was given prior to returning to work was good - better return gradually, consider part time, consider a job with less stress and responsibility, then if you cope, look into increasing hours/role. Despite the fact I am not fully using my skills, part time in a lesser role worked for me in terms of getting my confidence back, and the fact I feel have something useful to contribute. Good luck, it is not easy, but please don't place too high expectations on your self