Wish I could be close to my Mum!

[StarsforAngels]

Is anyone else unable to talk to their mother about their mental health problems or worries?

I have tried but been told 'your crazy' (when I was younger) and just before my pregnancy I was signed off sick from work and called my Mum for some support to be told 'Not you as well' :( I don't know why I bother but it just gets me down when I see people posting about their supportive parents.

My sister has had severe mental health problems since she was 16 so I know my parents are probably emotionally spent. I think I resent my sister a bit for this but that is another issue.

I have spend £1000+ on counselling but I still feel quite a lone. I can talk to my DH but now I have DC I am quite angry at my mother.

I would be devastated if my daughter felt she had to pay for counselling over talking to me.

I want to be able to confront her about this - although my sister has tried and the consequences I think have been pretty terrible for her.

I feel so stressed nowadays after speaking to my mum I avoid it. I think she has major anxiety issues - although she has always been a worry wort but I think she sees any form of MH issues as a weakness so I doubt she would ever seek help.

My past experiences of trying to get support from her for MH have left me feeling so the opposite way - I guess I just feel a bit hard done by and wanted to rant on here where people are actually supportive and don't tell you to 'shut up' for having MH issues.

Rant over for now!

You have my deepest sympathy OP. I spent years and years being told I was mad and having seemingly futile therapy. I wished my mother could help and always felt guilty about burdoning her. Turns out SHE was the one with the mental illness and she has projected it onto me!! I'm not saying this is definitely what you are experiencing, but have a look into NPD - you may find some answers.

Hi op I have bipolar 1 and my mother refuses to acknowledge it unless she is telling friend to make her look good even though I have asked her to keep quiet.

She keeps saying when I am really ill she will help me do my housework. Yet I have had two failed suicide attempts in the last year and she didn't even come to the hospital. I have been badly psychotic but sh has been left to deal with me alone.

My mother likes to make everything about her. If I am physically ill I get no sympathy yet if she is ill I am expected to give a great deal of sympathy and when I don't she gets mad.

Space - I'm so sorry you are being treated so badly when you need support. Sounds like you are also the proud owner of an NPD mother - have you looked into it? I was told I was bipolar (amongst many other things) turns out I was being gaslighted by a Narcissist.

I have looked in to bpd it doesn't quite fit my mum but hpd fits perfectly. Which is similar.

Npd not bpd.

Just thought it might be worth looking at - so many people spend their lives convinced they are mentally ill, when in fact it is this closest to them who are making them unwell.

Hi guys, thanks for your messages :) - can always rely on here to be taken seriously which helps alot. I have not looked into NPD but thanks for the tip. I find it hard as my mum was a caring mum and when we were younger she was affectionate. It seems the older I have got the more strained I find my relationship - this has come about after having my DC so I am sure that has something to do with it. Sorry your mum did not come to the hospital space it must have been hard for you especially when you were at your lowest and most vulnerable. When I was having DC I felt terribly afraid and needy in a strange hospital in a city where I did not have much family. My mum is retired but I felt like I had to practically beg her to come down to see me. She could not stay long as she needed to get back to my Dad?! Anyway maybe she does have issues or maybe there is stuff going on about but I can't force her to address any issues I guess grrr :p

Look up histrionic personality disorder too it's very similar to narrcassistic personality disorder.