DP's health anxiety

[RollercoasterOfLife21]

My DP has been suffering with really bad health anxiety for around two months and now feels unable to go to work, college, out socially.....basically anywhere outside of our flat, except for the GP surgery where he is currently attending and phoning all the time! (i didnt realise how much he was phoning the GP surgery and the chemist until I got a recent phone bill!!) He has had generalised anxiety in the past (not health related) which lasted a good couple of years but did eventually manage to get himself out of it through weight loss, exercise, gradually integrating himself back into daily life. But this time it is different due to it being focused on his health symptoms - palpitations, heart skipping a beat, dizziness - all of which I know can be caused by anxiety, as he is scared to exercise for fear of what will happen. Unfortunately his mum died of heart related problems and he doesnt seem to be able to accept that his symptoms are not something to worry about. He has had ECGS, blood tests, blood pressure readings, all of which are fine but he doesnt trust the results of the ECGs, saying that perhaps the palpitations/skipped beats were not happening at the time of the test. He is currently taking beta blockers for his heart rate and the GP is arranging a 24 hour ECG but I feel like the anxiety really needs sorting out! He has been referred for inhouse counselling by the GP but the appointments are scarce and the next appointment is in November! He is symptom checking constantly (hand on chest, checking pulse/heart rate), googling symptoms (which ive told him is a terrible idea) which I can stop if Im at home but as I work full time I cant control this behaviour while Im not there. I just feel like by sitting at home all day with nothing to occupy his mind but worry he is making himself worse. I feel like if he could go to work/college he would be distracted and this would help but I cant seem to get him to go and try and I dont know whether I should be forcing it or take a more gentle approach! I want to help but I dont know what to do next!!

hi i suffer from the same health related anxiety and panic attacks, and i will be honest and say, the worse thing you can do is encourage him to go anywhere, obviously like me home is his "safe place" i have had every health check there is, but when an attack happens the doctors are all wrong, there must be something wrong with me or i wouldn't be feeling like this, or well i wasn't having a heart attack at that time but im having one now. Typing this right now, i know im healthy, i know there is nothing wrong with me and i know a panic attack will not kill me and i will be fine after a little while, but when an attack happens all reasoning goes out the window, im dying, im having a heart attack, my lungs have collapsed, im suffocating and the worse bit is after you recover from that particular episode you spend days worrying about the next one, will i die during the next one its a vicious vicious circle, i am on anti depressants and have recently gone back on diazepam. Now diazepam to me is the wonder drug, it helps keep me calm, it stops the constant mind chatter in my brain telling me im going to die, but you have to beg to get it, Beata blockers made me worse, if they are not helping you DP needs to go back to the doctor, i was on several types of medication (some made me worse) till i found the right ones for me, they don't magically make it go away but my bad episodes are far less frequent, i tried CBT but after 5 sessions i realized they were not telling me anything i didn't already know, i don't have a trigger, it just happens out of the blue, but they are extremely stressful and debilitating, just try to be understanding, ask if there is anything you can do, read up on panic and anxiety, see if you can get him on a forum with fellow sufferers, it helps to talk to people that understand, it is very difficult for those that don't understand or have never suffered from this condition

Hi thank you so much for replying . Alot of what you said sounds very similar to my DP and it helps to hear from someone who knows how he feels (as you said it is very difficult for me to understand when I have never been through it myself. To me the idea of going to work to take his mind off the symptoms seems so easy but this is obviously not the case). The beta blockers he is on now have lowered his heart rate so it is not racing like it used to but he is still experiencing the palpitations every few days (sometimes everyday) with mild chest pain and dizziness/off balance feeling which he says is constant (he has been put on vertigo medication for this which is not helping). At the weekend we ended up in A&E in the early hours due to him experiencing palpitations through the night and getting himself into a panic. He had ECG, bloods etc done again there and nothing but a fast heart rate was detected. The doctor there did say that he should speak to his GP re possibly trying anxiety medication and he has rung up and booked an appointment for this friday with the GP to discuss that. It is interesting what you said about not trusting the doctors/results, waiting for the next attack etc though as when we left the hospital I thought 'right, the hospital doctor has told him he is fine so now he wont be worrying all day'...however as soon as we got home he was saying "i can still feel the palpitations, i know my body and there is definitely something wrong" and then when the symptoms disappeared he was still constantly putting his hand on his chest to feel his heart beat as he said he knew the palpitations would come back at some point. Like you said it seems like it is just a case of trial and error to see what works for him and keeping supporting him the best I can. I just feel so useless as I dont have the answers he needs and despite the fact that I am 99% sure the symptoms are anxiety related, there is always that niggle in the back of my mind that perhaps he is right and there is something wrong. Ah, the joys of the human mind!

The biggest problem for me is when he is having the symptoms and he is panicking and asking me 'what do i do!?' i never know what Im supposed to say. Do I encourage him to ring 111 or the GP to put his mind at rest, do i advise him to see how it goes before calling anyone, do i tell him its just anxiety and will pass....i never know what to do/say for the best

Reassurance doesn't work it just keeps you thinking about the problem. What has helped me - cbt, reducing cortisol (look it up but it is basically stress reduction), talk therapy, exercise. There are books on cbt for health anxiety if he won't see gp about it. Overcoming health anxiety is a good one. It is very common and can be overcome but first he needs to realise it is just anxiety so he can start to help himself.

Have just replied on your other thread, Rollercoaster. You have my sympathies- for me, the hardest thing was treading the fine line between encouragement and sympathy. Mental illness is a very selfish illness, in that the sufferer can't see it from any other point of view than their own
, and you are left feeling so helpless. Hopefully your DP will soon get some support and it will get easier for you, if only in having someone you can talk to. Keep talking here too. It helps so much to know you are not alone in what you are going through.

its good he is seeing the doctor on Friday, be sure to let us know how he gets on...this condition affects everyone in different ways, as I said home is my "safe place" but if im indoors when an attack happens I gotta get outside, and visa versa and also as I said before I know its strange and I know its in my head right now cos im having a really really good couple of weeks but at the time its a totally logical thing to do .. one thing I have over the year found during or when I feel like one is coming is to put headphones on and listen to loud music, it helps me not to hear then niggling voice in my head also I cant hear my heart pounding in my ears, right now the meds im on are really helping, I have gone from these awful feelings of doom every day to maybe a couple a month, im on facebook Josie Little profile pic is my dd in a bright orange high viz jacket (don't ask lol) you can always msg me for a chat so can your DH if you feel you want to ok) xx

Awwww thank you that's very kind. It's nice to know there are nice people to talk to who understand. I will definitely let u know how it goes! Gonna go with him too so I'm in the loop with what's happening (he often can't remember exactly wot was said). I think the headphones idea is interesting. Might suggest that to him, worth a try! Xx

Am going to pm you as dh reads mn and I don't want outing!

We were back at a&e 3am this morning with chest pain and palpitations.....normal ECG, bloods and obs again! Hes been given Diazapem for two days so hopefully will help him until he sees the GP at the end of the week! Think the coffee machine at work will make some money out of me today!! haha

sorry to hear that, lost count how many times I ended up in a&e over attacks, its good your going to docs with him, we can often play it down when having a good day, just a few things that have helped me over the years (not a cure) but has made the attacks easier and less frequent, stay away from caffeine, carbonated drinks, energy drinks, smoking (if he smokes) hope all goes well on Friday x