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Help me re-empathise with DH's anxiety issues please!!

3 replies

Nancery · 01/10/2014 20:12

DH, ten years ago, had CBT re anxiety. It was basically traced back to his parents who are constantly paranoid something with either poison them, rob them, cost them money or offend someone. He has panic attacks in the form of getting uncontrollably hot and can't cool down.
We are comfortably off, have a great relationship, and don't generally argue but he gets in a state about stuff and, I'm sorry to say, I'm starting to lose patience (he won't see anyone about it, or do anything constructive and instead comes up with bizarre 'problems' that may possibly happen at some point at the future.)
So I don't sound completely heartless, this has gone on a long time; I've bought him herbal stuff (he got to the point where he was swigging Rescue Remedy), and listened to an extent (previously for nights on end, dropping things to suddenly meet him etc) but I'm running out of things to say. It also doesn't help, obviously I haven't said this to him, that I find his 'worries' ridiculous. We currently have had an offer accepted on our dream house, but they have taken it off the market for a bit as the house our vendors wanted fell through, he's now agitated and panicky that someone else might buy it - despite it no longer being on the open market - or we will move and then struggle financially. I said what will be will be, but he is now on edge talking about if we 'lose it' or somehow, suddenly, can't afford it after all. He goes round in circles and I realise he can't help it, but he won't get professional help and I'm running out of answers! (We can afford it but he's trying to find problems.)

OP posts:
Snog · 03/10/2014 21:50

anxiety can be debilitating. I take medication and also have counselling to help me wirh mine.

joanofarchitrave · 03/10/2014 21:54

'You're sounding very anxious. I think you could do with getting some help for it like you did before. What do you think you could do?'

'You still seem to be struggling with a lot of anxiety. I don't think it's normal. What do you think you could do about it?'

Repeat. He's a grown up and should make the decisions, but you should flag up when things are running a level above the norm. Eventually you can move to:

'You're still sounding very anxious. I want to talk about something else/stop talking and rest now. If you still need to talk about this, what do you think you could do about it?'

Nancery · 04/10/2014 19:58

Thanks for the replies. He's finally booked a docs apt

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