I just don't know what normal eating is any more.

[GhillieDooBeeDoo]

I've put this in MH as opposed to Big/Slim/Whatever because I don't want to learn how to diet.

I want to learn how to eat normally and for health. I want to be able to separate my eating from my emotions, and I want to be healthy.

Like loads of us, I've been dieting unsuccessfully for the best part of 25 years, and nothing has changed.

I've had some success with WW and low carb but I end up eating weird food (filling up on low fat yoghurts or almond flour pancakes) that I don't even like.

I also had some success after reading Susie Orbach's, On Eating, but in retrospect, I was going through a bad time and was generally distressed (anxiety/depression) and weird.

So, what IS normal eating? I've been dieting so long I don't know how normal people eat.

Have any of you recovered from emotional over-eating?

I recently started therapy with a psychologist who specialises in eating disorders. She teaches mindfulness. I'm just at the start of this journey but it looks promising. I'm tracking what I eat on a site called myfitnespal and I'm learning how to do mindfulness meditation on another site called headspace.

Sorry I got that link wrong, it's www.myfitnesspal.com

Thanks for your reply Lasting. How are you finding your therapy?

I've started dabbling in Headspace, though I tend to forget to do it, or fall asleep when I do it!

And I'm actually worried about using MyFitnessPal as I've got it categorised as 'A Diet' in my mind. To me, that means I'll experience initial euphoria where I'm full of enthusiasm and dreams of what will be, followed by cravings and feelings of rebellion, then a massive crash where I fall off the wagon.

But I'm aware that sounds like excuses and I need to acknowledge that.

The therapy has been helpful so far - we are exploring issues like why I eat and can I distinguish between physical hunger and emotional hunger. We're working on strategies to satisfy the emotional hunger in ways other than with food. I've been diagnosed with insulin resistance which was a big shock and really focused me on looking at my diet. It's hard though, I won't lie to you. I have to cut out all sugar and virtually every prepared food you can buy has sugar in. However that's just because of my medical issue and might not be a problem for you. I slip up when I'm stressed but I'm becoming a lot more aware of what I put in my mouth. The thing about myfitnesspal is, it's definitely not a diet. In the beginning I just logged everything I ate and watched as the kilojoules added up. Then I started trying to hit a target of 5000kj every day, which is what I need to eat for slow and steady weight loss. It has helped me to learn what healthy portion sizes are and which foods are nutrient dense or have lots of kj but no nutrients. I'm also now reading food labels much more carefully. Of course you could fill up your 5000kj a day with sweets and chips but then you would quickly become very unhealthy! I'm also looking at low GI eating.

I think at some point the psychologist is going to want me to see a dietitian, which for various reasons I don't want to do. However for you that might be very beneficial in conjunction with therapy as the dietitian can help you to learn what normal eating is again.

I noticed that beat run emotional overeaters support groups, maybe there is one in your area?

Fair comment on MFP not being a diet. I think I've done low carb so many times that it just looks like madness to have to eat so many carbs to hit the recommended guidelines.

I'll give it a go tomorrow.

I can't afford therapy and I doubt my GP would pay for it. There are no groups in my area, thanks Mitchy.

there's a helpline 0845 634 1414 and online support, it might help

these things can be so isolating

GhillieDooBeeDoo I never eat as much carbs as they suggest and always more protein and fat. This is not really intentional, it's just the way I happen to eat. My psychologist says this is not a problem at this stage as long as I factor in the low GI angle. There is so much conflicting information on diet out there, it's impossible to know what is right and what is wrong. I think in the end it boils down to moderation in everything and figuring out what works for you. You need to be very clear in your mind on why you want to eat healthy. Write it down and stick it on the fridge door.

thanks Mitchy.

Lasting, that's it about the conflicting diet info.

I get all muddled up because I've done low carb/high fat most recently, so I'll have a high protein breakfast like fried bacon and eggs, but I'll also think, "well I want a cup of tea with sugar in it, because that's not unreasonable to have a cup of tea and if I can never have a cup of tea with sugar in it then I'll go insane..." etc etc!

Like, I know normal people have occasional treats. But how? When? Is it so unreasonable to have a biscuit? And I can' make that judgement on what is OK and end up thinking OH FUCK IT.

I've just started reading 'Overcoming Weight problems' and done the first exercise which is to identify and clearly outline my motivations. I was surprised at what came up actually.

Why don't you look into low GI? It's a healthy way of eating.

I'll do that, Lasting.

Hello. I feel a lot like you Ghillie. Though I'm not sure I ever "diet" as I never make it past 1-2 days of whatever scheme I'm on. Getting desperate now. Not desperate enough to actually eat moderately it seems though. :-(

Good morning Aimey. That motivation thing is complicated, isn't it?

As I said up thread, the book I'm reading asked me to really analyse my motivation. I realised that, although I'm reasonably healthy, I don't actually do anything at all to look after my health (well, I don't take heroin but that's about it! ) and that was a bit off a shock.

My diet is bad, I drink, I smoke sometimes, I rarely exercise and I'm phobic about intrusive health appointments (dentist, smear etc). I'm healthy by accident

I've worked as a carer, I've seen people totally disabled by diabetes, heart disease, COPD and even MH problems. I don't want that. Not even for the sake of my own suffering, but it would crucify me to lose my independence and be a burden.

I feel really sad today.

I have had an interesting experience over the last few weeks. I have always been overweight although my weight has been stable over last few years. I felt I ate fairly healthily.....same meals as 3 kids and hubby who are all slim. Thought I did not snack too much between meals but would meet friends for lunch or coffee/cake most weeks.
In the summer hols I broke my leg.The amount of damage I did to myself following a simple fall made me think seriously about getting fit and healthy.There was nothing I could do in terms of exercise as I am going to be 3 months non weight bearing on right leg. I spend most of my day in a chair with my leg elevated. The one thing I have been able to do is cut out all eating between meals. My husband brings me porridge and banana with a cup of coffee in bed each morning. I have a sandwich/salad/low fat crisps/fruit/humous etc for lunch and a normal evening meal with the family. I drink water between meals. Now....bearing in mind the only exercise I do is up/down stairs once a day and to/from toilet plus occasional hops to/from car , I have been astonished to find I have lost 10lbs. So my advice would be this. Forget dieting. Find a healthy breakfast, have a lightish lunch, eat a normal evening meal and cut out ALL else and see what happens. All those little snacks/drinks must have just been adding on so many calories without seeming like they were bad. Even fruit/nuts/crackers and other healthy snacks add up. It is great to have one positive outcome from my injuries as sitting around all day for 3 months is pretty tedious!

Sorry about your injury VDB, that's quite a shock to the system.

Do you never get hungry outside of meal times? I imagine it's boring not being able to do much and that I would be mooching in cupboards just for something interesting to happen

I have a suspicion that if I are with my appetite instead of according to when meal times allow, then my food intake would be quite different.

I know when I'm working (currently a ft student), I have mid-morning and afternoon snacks as the days were so long and dull that a snack was a highlight.

I think I'd rather have my main meal at lunch time too, I might try that.

Sorry I'm rambling.

Have a look at www.easyloss.co.uk

They have a facebook page and it seems that it is very successful.

Curiously I have not felt hunger but then I think that Porridge with a banana is a filling and healthy breakfast(he also puts a small sprinkling of dark brown sugar) and it obviously kicks off my metabolism and keeps me feeling full til lunch. If I hop through to the kitchen on my crutches,it is quite an effort to keep standing on one leg,hold crutches and open fridge/larder door and if I do,I then have to eat where I am as I cannot carry anything. That is a big incentive not to bother but I think it is coupled with a resolve that kicked in as I landed with a crack of bone and saw my foot hanging off the end of my leg. I knew that had I been lighter and fitter I may not have been so badly injured. It is good to have a good incentive and a health scare is a good one. Try a couple of weeks with no snacks and see what happens, and stick to water between meals.x