Surviving constant observations

[fluffydressinggown]

I am IP on a S.2.

I have been on constant observations for 18 days now and it is open ended at the moment although they keep talking about reducing them.

Someone is with me 24/7 - in the toilet, in the shower, when I sleep. All the fucking time. I don't know how much longer I can stand this.

Can anyone suggest ways to get through it? Thanks. Oh and they change every hour and it is their specific job to be with me so they have nothing else to do but sit with me.

Would ear defenders help, I take it you do not want to take medication and that is ok but ask for what else you can do,

You must be extremely low, so I would say take the meds, but I know it is not that easy and taking them brings it's own set of problems.

Hi Fluffy, how are you feeling this morning? I hope you had a peaceful night.

I respect your decision that anti psychotics are not for you, people often have the misconcepton they are the magic, quick fix solution and I know this is often not the case.

I do believe however that there is a life out there for you. A happy and fulfilling life, and one that you deserve. Maybe the voices think death is your destiny, but why do they get to choose, what about your say? From the amazing strength in your posts on your old thread, it is clear there are things you enjoy, people you love and things you hope to accomplish. Why should the voices get to decide this is not to be.

I don't know if you can access the Internet easily but please look up recovery stories, look up the national hearing voices network. Many people can go on to beat this and live with their voices. There are many distraction techniques so you can become more in control. And longer term maybe therapy could help you understand why they are there.

I can feel how stuck you must be. Constant observations steal our most basic right to privacy. I remember clearly how crippling awful they are. I really believe you can come out the other side fluffy. There is so much hope for you.

Please try to be kind to yourself today. You are in my thoughts x

It is VERY loud here today which is frustrating. I am ok, just fed up.

I hope you don't mind if I share a little of my story.

I was convinced I wouldn't live to see 30. Was extremely anorexic - dropping to 4.5 stone at one point. Also had alcohol issues, self harming, risky behaviour at various points. I wasn't meant to see 30 you see?

Well I'm 40. Have a wonderful DP and currently wedged in about 5 inches width of bed between 2 gorgeous daughters who have snotty colds and won't sleep without mummy tonight. But that's another story, :)

Anyway - when I went in patient at 4.5 stone I still thought I knew best. Wasn't supposed to eat or live. Was dropping food out of the window, down the loo. The turning point was when I had to agree that, yes, I was a little bit mad, and maybe I had to trust the doctors for a bit. I agreed to give them a week :) ..... I ended up being in there for 6 months! It has been a long old road since then with relapses and crashes on the wY, but a general upward trend.

Could you give them a week? Won't hurt if your destiny is something else to just take a week? X

Hey fluffy. How are you feeling today? Do you feel able to ask about potential treatments other than anti psychotics?

Thinking of you x

Thank you for your comments.

I am def seeing the doctor this week so hopefully something will change soon.