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Mental health

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Original poster

Money Problems

58 replies

DumbledoresGirl · 27/09/2006 09:34

Well, it is some time since I have been here, but after a few weeks of hell, I have succumbed.

Dh and I are in such financial straits at the moment. Normally we lurch from month to month just about breaking even, sometimes going overdrawn and putting things on the credit card to pay off the next month, but mainly getting by. this itself has been depressing because we only manage to get by by not having the usual luxuries that many people take for granted - days out, takeaways, clothes (except for what is desperately needed).

But now we are in a worse state than ever before. We had a huge car repari bill this week (£1500) and that has effectively left us with nothing to spend for the next 4 weeks. But I still have to feed the children and there are bound to be payments that have to be made. I am in despair.

I don't need to be told how to budget things or buy cheaply - regretably, I live that life all the time. I just wanted to off load here as I am so anxious about it and have no-one else I can talk to.

OP posts:

HRHQueenOfQuotes · 27/09/2006 17:39

"Perhaps if we had not had such a well-off upbringing, neither of us would have aimed so high and we would not have been in the situation we are now in. But is aiming high a bad thing?"

Absolutely not!! DH and I both come from 'poor' backgrounds - but we've both aimed high in life........last year we "failed" (tried to set up a business and ended up in serious debt when it didn't work out). But even though we're still up to our eyeballs in debt (which thankfully we now can manage all the repayments on) and we're not unexpectently pg with no.3 it hasn't dampened our 'goals' at all.

iota · 27/09/2006 17:47

DG - I'm not saying that you shouldn't have your house, just that I wouldn't want to be stretched to the limit each month and have no 'fun' money - I'd find it too stressful.

naswm · 27/09/2006 17:55

Oh sorry missed all that about your house DG. Please dont begrudge yourself that. You deserve it. And from what I know of it, it is a nice house - but not a mansion.

Re how you can help yourself each month, I really dont know what else to suggest - other than tyring to get a mortgage break. It is possible to do that - and that may just tie you over a few months until you get back on your feet. (You wont notice the few extra months on the other end, IYKWIM). Either that or accept that you may have to use the credit card a bit more from now on. I know you dont want to do that, and I am not suggesting you run up a massive debt, but it might be easier to lean on that for a little while, and plan to pay it off when you have a better month (which will happen at some point)

misdee · 27/09/2006 17:59

i think you find different ways of having fun though when broke. me and dh used to flyer for clubs in londons, so half hour flyering got us a free night out.

we now have sky back (we are not toally broke now, i sold my car and cleared some overdraft and other bills), so instead of going out to see a film and spending x amount on popcorn, we get that microwave popcorn, and watch a film on the telly. OR i use the BOGOF deal for orange wednesdays and split the cost of one ticket between me and a friend.

Deux · 27/09/2006 18:51

We've been in a similar position where our fixed outgoings were too high to allow for any slack. We sliced back some insurance policies, shopped around for better deals etc and managed to 'save' around £200.

The other thing that may work for you in the short term is a zero % interest credit card, if you are concerned about running up a debt. (DH insists that our cards are paid of every month too). Sounds like you'll have good credit rating. You could spend on your existing card and then transfer the balance. Quite quick to turnaround as well, can apply on line or on the phone. You can keep moving the balance to other 0% cards till it's paid off.

Hope you can sort it out.

themoon66 · 27/09/2006 19:19

Can identify with all posters on this thread. Especially the comment about DH's career being fragile. He has been made redundant four times now. He has worked away from home for five years, coming back at weekends only... and only on weekends we could afford for him to travel.

We have had beans on toast for two xmas dinners even!

Things are better now, but we did have to cash in DH's pension to live on for a while... something we have never replaced. DH was 50 this year and his lack of pension plays on my mind terribly.

And now my 'safe for life' job in the NHS is under threat. My work may end up being outsourced to a third world country. So much for 25 years of loyalty to the NHS.

I get by by thanking God for the good things I DO have... healthy kids, a car that works and seems pretty reliable, a house we are just about keeping up the payments on, my health, DH's health, etc.

expatinscotland · 27/09/2006 21:10

I'll be honest.

My father has accrued much material wealth in his life.

Not by accident, I might add. He grew up VERY, VERY poor - hungry, often enough in his youth.

But, as he has always said, and which I now very truly believe:

Health is wealth.

Think that's trite?

Read the Special Needs board from time to time.

Really take in misdee's posts. This is a woman who SOOOO loves a man, who is so very, very ill.

Health is wealth.

foundintranslation · 27/09/2006 21:28

Sympathies DG. Nothing wrong with aiming high, and nothing wrong with a bit of (controlled) envy. I am earning a decent salary atm, but it is a fixed-term contract that runs out in 6 months (academia), and after that we're not sure what's going to happen. If all goes well we'll be just fine - if all goes badly it'll be a real struggle. So I can really empathise with the insecurity - it's very wearing, isn't it? We have adjusted our expectations to fit the situation - we had no savings and debts to family (accrued during our studies) when I started this job and have managed to pay off a lot of the debts and build up some modest savings - but got rid of our car, live in a one-bed flat (me, dh and ds), rarely buy new clothes, don't have television (broadband instead ), dishwasher, mobile etc., rarely eat out and don't go on holiday except to stay with friends. In this time I've very much become an adherent of expat's 'wanting what you've got' school of thought - also because my mother was desperately materialistic, had a lot but always wanted more, and made herself and us very unhappy. (Not suggesting you're like this at all DG!)

How about some private tutoring? You can work round the children and get to pick your students

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