I'm so very tired of being afraid all the time :(

[nikki1978]

I just don't know what to do anymore. I have suffered from anxiety for 13 years now. It is mostly based around my health but can be my children's health or world events and I do worry/think too much in general about stuff.

Over those 13 years I have had periods where it has been severe, periods where it has been gurgling away moderately and times when it has all but disappeared. I can't really work out a pattern sadly. Currently I am in a very bad phase. It has been creeping up on me for a while and then I quit drinking in January as I was concerned it was making me worse. That cured some parts (the waking up gasping and choking) but over time the feelings that I had been suppressing with the booze (I assume) have started resurfacing. I have had talk therapy for years (6 years now I think) and am currently doing CBT. The CBT lady after 6 sessions said I wasn't progressing and that I should start some medication. The GP had already given me prozac (fluoxetine) which were sitting in my bedroom (had been umming and ahhing about taking them for months). So I took them and all seemed fine. On the 4th day I started to feel odd. My legs felt weak and achy and my stomach felt numb (I couldn't feel it if I pinched the skin). I went to the GP who didn't seem concerned as the stomach wasn't numb if she ran a bit of cotton wool over it and my legs didn't feel weak when I did tests. She said to stop taking the prozac for a week to see what happened.

So I stopped - that night I had a panic attack, feeling of complete terror and my insides went ice cold (well thats how it felt). I was convinced I was about to die. I had a few more the next day and have felt worse than ever since. Constantly jittery and worrying abut every tiny thing. I am having a bit of pain in my leg and am worried it is MND/ovarian cancer (I have large cysts at the mo)/blodo clot etc etc. I was also getting a few sharp pains in my head (gone now) so was worried about a brain aneurysm. I always do this but the terror I feel now is way worse than ever.

The doctors don't seem to take me seriously. It is a new surgery as I moved last year and there are lots of docs but I have yet to find one who takes my anxiety seriously. They are always saying "It seems fine, come back if it gets worse" so I always feel like I am waiting for something bad to happen.

I know I have health anxiety but it doesn't stop the "what if this time it is something?" thoughts. I can't seem to control it. I am now scared of the drugs, the therapy isn't helping. I don't know what to do to get myself out of this vicious cycle of hell I am trapped in :(

Bump

I do understand, anxiety is horrible and so debilitating. Constant fear is so exhausting.

I think the Prozac probably wasn't causing that much of a problem, but maybe it is not the one for you. I would try something like Citalopram (up to 20mg) or Sertraline, probably the latter, and give it a good long while - it make take weeks or getting up to a high dose to make a difference. Don't be scared of the drugs, as long as you keep an eye out for allergic reactions (very rare) you'll be ok. Don't worry about the side effect list, and don't worry about side effects in the first few weeks. Or put it this way, you will worry but don't let that stop you. I've taken all three, not together of course!

Have I just waded in and prescribed with no medical qualifications? Yep, looks like it .

Check with GP/pharmacist about transitioning, whether you need to wait a bit before starting the new drug, don't forget to mention if you've taken anything like St John's Wort as that affects serotonin and you need to have a gap between that and SSRIs.

Self help books and CBT alongside the meds may work better.

Thanks temporary. Yes I think I will ask to try the sertraline. I did use it once for a couple of weeks and didn't have any kind of reaction so it seems to be a better idea.

I will go back on Monday as she told me to give it a week.